In the beginning, God created the heavens and Earth and internet. The internet was formless and empty, darkness lay over the surface of the deep, then Jennifer Lopez was there, her highlights beaming. And Jennifer Lopez said, “Let there be Google Images.†So some nerds somewhere invented it. That is exactly how it went down in the year 2000 when Jennifer Lopez showed up at the 42nd annual Grammys wearing a tropical, deep-V, Versace dress so good that everyone rushed to their dial-up computers and tried to search for photos. The demand all but forced Google to add images to its capabilities, ushering us into the meme-ridden hellscape we know and love today. She didn’t just break the internet. She made the internet. And now, nearly 20 years later, J.Lo is starring in Hustlers and wearing a revised (read: tinier) version of the dress to which we owe our livelihoods. Behold! But know that you are not worthy.
J.Lo wooorked the dress halfway down the runway before Donatella Versace herself joined her. She’s a movie star, she’s a pop star, she’s a supermodel! The new dress is basically a bodysuit, with the entire front open and cutout slits on the waist. The buckle is completely different, now in stunning gold to match the radiance of J.Lo’s skin. And the sleeves were ditched to show off J.Lo’s Hustlers-toned biceps, but the deep V that we pray to is untouched. This is a moment that we will all be telling our grandkids about one day, should the Earth still be here to witness Jennifer Lopez’s eternal glory.