With apologies to every actor over the age of 35 in Hollywood who was willing to give himself a very bad haircut, we found our next Joe Exotic. Put the scissors down. It’s over. Nicolas Cage will be portraying Tiger King’s gay, gun-carrying redneck with a mullet in an eight-episode adaptation about Exotic’s rise and fall, which Variety reports will be a series that “lives in the lion’s den with Joe, explores how he became Joe Exotic, and how he lost himself to a character of his own creation.†(Now let’s get Patricia Clarkson and Shia LaBeouf to join this project next.) To avoid confusion, this is not the same series adaptation that will star Kate McKinnon as alleged husband murderer Carole Baskin, which will also be moving forward for television. Variety notes that this is the first time Cage has been enticed to take a television role, which is nuts, knowing the wild evolution of his filmography.