Ahoy! Tiffany Trump might not be on the campaign trail superspreading her father’s message, but at least she has a great excuse: She just turned 27, and, frankly, wants to get drunk on a yacht and forget the world around her.
“I’m just trying to be a relatable millennial,” she (Chloe Fineman) tells Weekend Update. “The media got all butt hurt because I was partying maskless in Miami with the first 20 randos to slide in my DMs. But, I mean, I’m a step-child named Tiffany. It’s kind of my job to get faded in South Beach.” Notvanka Tiff is also putting on a united front with her two half-brothers, even if one of them has no idea who she is. “Daddy’s always taken,” she adds, “the six-foot social-distance rule with me.” Eric can relate to that.