Every great story faces a conflict between an unstoppable force and an immovable option. We have man versus man, man versus technology, man versus nature, man versus supernatural, man versus society, and now man versus … slide? A viral video of a Boston Police Department officer absolutely blasting down the slide with such force that he sustained a “baseballâ€-size welt, originally posted by @ryanwhitney6 on X Twitter, has been going viral. The original post has been taken down because someone “begged him†to (gee, I wonder who), but because the internet forgets nothing, it’s been recirculated by various accounts, including Live Boston. People have taken to putting the video in reverse, comparing the flight to a can descending a vending machine, and even suggesting that Albert Einstein be plucked from whatever body of water he was staring at in Oppenheimer to answer how much g-force the cop experienced.
Most Boston papers jumped on the story of the cop flung by the slide because, when universities are out of session, really, what is going on in Boston? HuffPost even investigated the curious speed with which Mr. Cop shot down the tube through a physics lens, but the answer of his clothes being slippery is a lot less fun than the hand of karma launching him with gusto. Mayor Michelle Wu promised to look into the amount of signage around the slide, though others have noted that there’s a sign clearly stating that the ride is safe for children age 5 to 12 and not adults. Still, adults are flocking to the slide of death on their breaks, in business suits and waiting 45 minutes to yell “WEEEEEE!†and tempt fate, according to Jezebel. There’s truly little answer for how the cop managed to be flung so violently, but one thing is for sure — it’s NOT the slide’s fault. The slide at Boston City Hall’s plaza was only erected last November. She’s not even 1 year old yet!
Very few things are certain in this age of AI plotting to take over, labor struggles, and Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello breaking up, but, as the saying goes, you can always count on taxes, death, and the sound of someone’s limbs hitting the floor making you laugh so hard you pee a little. Karma is my boyfriend, and it’s also a cop flying down a children’s slide on the internet.