Another year, another satanic-panic record. Lil Nas X gave the Devil a lap dance in the “Montero (Call Me by Your Name)†music video, Sam Smith and Kim Petras released their ham-fisted “Unholy†with blunt Beelzebub callbacks, and now Doja Cat arrives to the party with demons on her shoulder. “Planet Her and Hot Pink were cash grabs, and y’all fell for it,†she said earlier this year. “Now I can go disappear somewhere and touch grass with my loved ones on an island while y’all weep for mediocre pop.â€Â Well, Doja must have vacationed in hell, what with all the Lucifer-ish lyrics taking flight on her newest album, Scarlet. She raps about her haters, obsessed fans, and lovers, either directly or indirectly invoking the Devil himself. Spray yourself with some holy water, and let’s head down to the pits to see how how scorching Doja’s inferno gets.
10. Got you cussin’ on a Sunday now (on a Sunday — good Lord).
(“Shutchoâ€)
Cursing on the Lord’s Day? A minor offense, to be sure, but still very much not a good Christian thing to do. This lyric is dedicated to the opps Doja Cat cultivated by being, well, Doja Cat: showing feet in the allegedly racist chat rooms, effectively telling her obsessively devoted fans to go fuck themselves, saying she bamboozled everyone into listening to her pop music … actions that could make any churchgoing regular cuss on a Sunday.
9. Mmmm, she the Devil.
(“Paint the Town Redâ€)
After Doja debuted her Liceti-monster tattoo on Instagram, a fan said she sold her “soul to the devil.†She neither confirmed nor denied the allegation, but she did tell the fan to believe “whatever helps u sleep at night.†The rapper even hangs out with the Grim Reaper in the music video for the song and wears a crimson hooded cape and matching gown. Plus in the visuals for “Attention,†she’s reborn, covered head to toe in red blood. These facts certainly don’t help her beat the Devil-adjacent allegations.
8. I said suck my dick, clit, tits / I’m yellin’ “666.â€
(“Fuck the Girlsâ€)
Shouting the number of the beast after telling people to “suck my dick, clit, tits†is a childish way to poke fun at people who are scared of all the satanic references. Making people clutch their pearls over the direct provocation? Low-hanging fruit, if you ask me.
7. I’m a puppet, I’m a sheep, I’m a cash cow / I’m the fastest-growing bitch on all your apps now.
(“Demonsâ€)
Satan is a known shape-shifter, and Doja Cat is a musical shape-shifter — the entire album traffics in a smattering of rap styles with this song alone having a distinct drill sound. Genre-wise, she does it all, from Afrobeats to pure pop to R&B, a “cash cow†counting hunnids off her “Hot 100†hits. The song’s chorus asks listeners, “How my demons look / Now that you bitches shook?†They probably look rich.
6. She mixed the Fendi with the Shein.
(“Go Offâ€)
That Shein and Fendi outfit probably looks a mess ’cause Shein’s scratchy, chemical-smelling fabrics — at best Spirit Halloween–quality — are a dissonant styling choice that could only be cooked up by the Devil. This lyric is doubly satanic, if you ask me, because the pairing not only boggles the mind, but it also makes you recall that Shein has been accused of forced labor, stealing other designers’ work, and other human-rights violations. And she just gave them free advertising … you hate to see it. Fashion police! Fashion police! We caught her red-handed.
5. Speeding through the city, we medicated the horses /
You could hit up PETA — the paint on me make me gorgeous /
I’mma take the geese and chinchilla coat on a walk and /
Don’t forget the cheetah print — speed up, come here, record it /
If that shit ain’t bleeding and screaming, I do not want it (take it back).
(“97â€)
Invoking PETA means we will be forced to suffer through more of its borderline-fetish-y animal-rights adverts that sometimes consist of naked women pretending to be skinned. PETA will probably use this song as background music for its next freaky skit. Thanks, Doja :(.
4. I be ten toes down on the ’Dash gettin’ fast food.
(“Agora Hillsâ€)
Imagine being a DoorDash stan over a Troop sample in public. The company gouges you with the prices, has terrible costumer service, and is so convenient that it’s easy to get addicted to being lazy and never cooking. How can a $10 meal end up being $25 without a tip? Where are all these added fees coming from? Avarice, that’s where. (No shade to DoorDash — I am literally a paid subscriber.)
3. ’Cuz I’mma do something devilish if you @ me.
(“Skull and Bonesâ€)
She’s not lying. Her rant that stemmed from fans @-ing her about dating a man accused of emotional abuse was absolutely torturous to follow, but I had to stay caught up for work purposes. A punishing assignment in a hell created by Doja’s silly anti-fan comments. Luckily, she has worthwhile bars on the album, and I was able to enter a new kind of purgatory where I had no choice but to accept that she’s both annoying and talented.
2. Holy cow, you’re the holy trin’ / Hold me down when a hole need dick.
(“Agora Hillsâ€)
Comparing your man — the same man facing allegations of abuse — to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit … Girl, if you don’t stand up …
1. I just quit the nicotine.
(“Demonsâ€)
One’s inner Satan is unleashed when going off the vape. Withdrawal symptoms are a bitch.