Jacob Elordi, a six-and-a-half-foot tree that his fans might want to [loses signal], broke up with his longtime girlfriend, full-time influencer Olivia Jade Giannulli, after three years of on-again, off-again dating, US Weekly reported on January 17. Celebrations of the Priscilla actor’s newfound singledom were halted the following day, when the couple got their PR agent on the phone to tell Entertainment Tonight the unfortunate truth. Elordi and Jade are still very much a thing, thank you very much, and that bathwater belongs to her. The couple is currently together in New York while Elordi prepares to host Saturday Night Live. What, are you upset he’s not free to serendipitously catch your eye from across Sushi Park and then canoodle in the strip-mall parking lot? Understandable! His post-Euphoria glow up has been something serious — I mean, who doesn’t feel things when they see a bisexual eyebrow piercing like his in the cursed film Saltburn — so we get why people so easily latched onto the breakup rumor, fixed their posture, and slid into his DMs. If the breakup ever materializes for real, you can try the undisputed classic: tweeting “Sending SO MUCH love and support to Jacob Elordi. You got this. â¤ï¸âš¡ï¸â€