A historical event happens in this episode of 90 Day Fiancé: mass regression. I don’t know that I’ve seen so many couples become petty and immature so quickly. Jibri and Miona are being treated like children! Ari treats Bini like a kid! Kara just wants to be a kid! Bilal and Mohamed are kids! Thais and Patrick realize John is also a kid! There isn’t a single actual adult around this entire episode, and it’s sweet, beautiful chaos.
Typically at this point in the season, we’re worried about couples moving too fast or getting pregnant. Not with this crew! Most of them had hit the gas a long time ago, already have kids, and have reached the “Everything about you irritates me†portion of marriage. That’s the only way I can explain the actions of someone like Bilal. The house prank was foolish, his gaslighting about kids was blatant, but I cannot begin to grasp the insecurities that led to his pulling that car over and scolding Shaeeda like she’s a child.
Their entire fight starts because Bilal is making Shaeeda feel insecure about her appearance. He knows Shaeeda is worried to meet his extended family, and he does everything he can to make her feel isolated and unsupported — all because she playfully hit him! It was such a clearly playful pat on the head. Also, the way Shaeeda said she doesn’t like when Bilal talks about her appearance makes me think this isn’t the first time he has done this. Bilal is supposed to be the master of pranks, but he can’t take a little ribbing from his fiancée? It’s odd how defensive he gets with her.
On top of that, he doesn’t introduce her to anyone at his mosque and then threatens to cancel their date night! If you followed the 90 Day Fiancé Twitter account during the episode, it was revealed that this was actually supposed to be their first-ever one-on-one date. In Trinidad and Tobago, a member of Shaeeda’s family would always accompany them. It clearly means a lot to her, and he dangles it in front of her in order to get her to apologize. Even though Shaeeda seems to be okay by the end of the episode, Bilal absolutely deserves to lose points for this. (He has no points. We are in negative points now.)
Jibri and Miona actually did win a few points with me this week when they both stood their ground against Jibri’s mom. While I originally thought Jibri’s mom would help these two grow up and face the real world, she is clearly focused on keeping Jibri under her roof. Miona shouldn’t have to worry about her fiancé’s dad ogling her at home, so why police her clothing? The poor girl just wants help with confusing American washers and dryers, but instead she gets some good ol’-fashioned slut-shaming. At least Jibri stands up for Miona, but these two need to get out of there if this relationship is going to work.
I’m also rooting for another relationship now: Pat and John. Watching these two giant men cry at a mini-golf course over their childhoods was beautiful. They’ve obviously been through a lot together, and it’s easy to see why John is afraid of losing his brother. I want to believe that is why John lashes out about the steak he absolutely ate after dropping it on the floor. Honestly, though, if it doesn’t work with Thais, I feel like Pat and John have such a strong bond that Pat will get through it okay. Also, I will defend John’s morning beers for two reasons: (1) It was his day off, and (2) my continued attraction to that thick Boston accent.
Any faith I had in Kara and Guillermo is basically gone. Every day, these two find new things they don’t like about each other. Kara thinks Guillermo is some naïve blank slate, but the kid has been through some things! He is looking for a stable home, not a girl who is going to force him to be in an open marriage when she gets bored in three years. I don’t get the sense that Kara has any intention of ever growing up.
Mohamed and Yve face a far more extreme version of the same problem. Mohamed wants Yve to act like a Muslim woman, and it’s apparently only dawning on Yve for the first time that this might be a problem! There is obviously a communication barrier since Mohamed can’t even tell when Yve is being sarcastic and seriously suggests she keep a list of all the changes he wants her to make. Yve is too passive to address any of this head-on. She could’ve told Mohamed she called a plumber, but maybe she knew he would have a problem with it. She could tell Mohamed outright she doesn’t intend to follow his rules, but she awkwardly laughs off everything he says.
Obviously, I have to save the worst for last: Ari and Bini have one of the worst New York date nights we’ve seen on the show. A lot of people come to America, move to the small town where their fiancé lives, and then they start planning a way to get to a bigger city. It’s not surprising to me that Bini would fall in love with New York! He casually mentions this, and Ari, of course, freaks out. Moving to New York would mean that Ari would have to pay rent and utility bills, a thing she tells us she has never done before! It’s not even as if Bini wants to move right away, but Ari’s first reaction is to yell at him.
When you look at the facts, it’s all silly: Ari controls their finances, even though she has no experience paying bills or rent and Bini is the only one who makes money. Then Ari moved her family to America, where she has no idea how to get a job and the only person with an income can’t work for months. She keeps blaming her parents for putting financial burdens on them, but they would’ve needed money anyway! Also, there’s no way Mama Janice is gonna let her daughter get evicted. Ari knows that and will probably play it for all it’s worth.
90 Day Notes
• Bini, I am so sorry about American coffee. I’m also sorry Ari is already laying the groundwork to send you back to Ethiopia.
• Yve is a better woman than I am because Mohamed wouldn’t be getting a bidet if he told me to keep a list of his rules.
• I don’t think Thais really cares about Patrick or she’d get to know John more! It was also funny when John was like, “Can I get a translator?!,†and Pat was like … That’s literally what I am doing.
• Bilal needs therapy. Badly. I want to know how his divorce went down.
• I don’t want to be Team Miona, but I will not abide by slut-shaming.