It’s wild that “Poison in the Honey†doesn’t peak with Jibri fighting in a studio with David while a man in a homemade astronaut helmet holds him back. What would normally be an episode-long buildup is cleared up within the first 15 minutes of this week’s episode. The entire fight starts over nothing: Jibri wants to text his fiancée before they start recording so she knows he’s busy. David doesn’t like that, so he starts a fight. Or, well, it feels as though the producers asked him to start a fight.
Just like the producer in that studio pretending to enjoy the Black Serbs’ music, every interaction in Jibri and Miona’s story feels as fake as her tan. It’s the biggest issue with this season: None of the relationships is built on trust, making every conflict feel meaningless. David gets over his temporary issue with Miona, and they go on to record a song that sounds like a Black Eyed Peas reject track. The fight eventually gets back to Miona, but even she seems to realize it’s not a big deal.
At this point in the season, things are starting to feel disappointing with all of our couples. Every pair seems stuck in inconsequential drama except for Ari and Bini, who don’t join us this week. The most interesting couple other than our veterans is Shaeeda and Bilal, but I don’t think anyone really believes these two will get married. Sadly — in terms of juicy reality TV, anyway — they both have common sense, and I think they’ll both call it quits before they walk down the aisle.
Shaeeda makes a genuine attempt this week to connect with Bilal’s kids, but they’re following Bilal in his hesitancy. How can his kids respect Shaeeda when Bilal isn’t even actually planning their wedding? It’s fair that Shaeeda is nervous because Bilal is obviously dragging his feet, but he turns the entire thing into another fight. It’s also very telling that Bilal can’t even have a nice day out with his fiancée and kids without insulting Shaeeda! He hates her “negative†mind-set. He hates that she doesn’t like electric scooters. I don’t think we’ve ever heard Bilal say a single thing he likes about Shaeeda. I can’t understand why he brought this woman all the way to America just so he could waste her time! It’s obvious Bilal just wants someone he can boss around, and Shaeeda is not bowing to his demands.
It’s almost the same dynamic that Emily and Kobe are dealing with. Emily wants to treat Kobe like a child, but he’s a grown man who wants to be a father to his child. I couldn’t understand why Emily was so controlling, but it all fell into place Emily’s mom explained that she has never paid bills or rent and has no idea how to budget money. Emily is far from an adult, and the only way she can feel like one is to boss Kobe around.
She also plays innocent in front of her parents. Emily’s dad getting mad is fair when you look at the way she lied about their fight, making it sound as though Kobe just told her to shut the fuck up for no reason. If Kobe and Emily break up, more blame would probably fall on Emily than Kobe — she’s keeping him from bonding with his son as a power move! I want Kobe to be there for his kid, but that family is not going to be a healthy long-term situation for him. Her dad isn’t willing to even hire him as an intern! Once again, we have another couple that is so clearly better off splitting up.
This dynamic of the American partner treating their fiancé like a naïve child is irritating. The worst example has to be Guillermo and Kara. Kara set up that entire tour of an expensive wedding venue she knew they couldn’t afford just to make Guillermo feel stupid! Guillermo said he wanted to check out wedding venues, and Kara easily could’ve shown him things in the area that were in their budget or realistic. Instead, she gets his hopes up just so she can say, “Told you so!†It’s not surprising that this turns into another fight highlighting another American trying to control their partner.
I suppose Patrick and ThaÃs kind of break this mold, but that’s only because they both want to control the other. Patrick thinks he can tame ThaÃs with gifts, but that is not enough! Sorry, Patrick, but a new iPhone is not going to stop her from tracking your location. I side with Patrick in terms of ThaÃs overreacting to the time he “almost†cheated. This man cannot live the rest of his life having a panic attack any time another woman walks into his vicinity. Even though ThaÃs might be wrong to track his location, it’s not as if Patrick comes off like a good guy trying to buy her compliance. The two are stuck in a toxic dynamic in which he has to take ThaÃs to a closet and swear she’s the hottest girl in the room before there can be peace.
90 Day Notes
• Shaeeda taught that girl how to wash chicken and her lady parts — that’s two lessons in one! She’s ready to be a mom!
• They really treat Kobe like a child! He rode a horse — calm down!
• The big amount of money Kobe has been hiding is $4,000. He now realizes this will last a month in America.
• Yve and Mohamed finally sit down and have a conversation. They come to the conclusion that they have never had a meaningful conversation. I’d pay for these two to separate at this point.
• They keep trying to tell us Miona and Jibri are in two different worlds, but it seems as though they’re on the same page enough to organize those matching outfits.
• John’s party seemed like a very producer-led affair. I think they just wanted him to say “pahty.†I don’t think we needed to see Patrick and ThaÃs kiss like that. Why did they do that?