The penultimate episode of A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder is quite the emotional rollercoaster. We begin with a hit and run and end with … human trafficking? Maybe? A dog dies along the way. This chaos is getting too intense — we’re veering into The CW territory, at this point. Wait until we find out Andie’s killer has actually been Dan Humphrey all along. Lonely boy, is it really you? No shade to The CW, which has its place in the world, but this show hasn’t been all too melodramatic up until this point. Pip, we all know you’re better than this.
The chaos begins with a flashback into Naomi’s past. Years before Andie went missing and Sal died, Naomi, Max, and another one of their friends were involved in a car accident that nearly killed the other driver. Max was drunk behind the wheel. Not wanting to get a DUI on his record, he called his pal Dan da Silva to clean up the mess.
Buckle up, because here’s where the case flies off the rails. Years after the accident, when Andie went missing, Naomi and Max received instructions to lie to the police, to say that Sal left the party at 10:30 p.m. — or else this mystery person would air their dirty laundry. They obliged. Now, none of this explains why Andie went missing, but it does prove Sal is innocent, which was one of Pip’s main goals.
At this point, Pip is as slack-jawed as the rest of us. If she takes this to the police, she’ll ruin Cara’s life. Pip decides not to turn in Naomi in favor of keeping the Ward family intact. She already felt the pains of almost losing Cara to this investigation. She’ll hold back. There’s got to be another way to prove Sal innocent.
Okay, listen: Good for Pippa for standing up for her friend. But she’s an accessory to a huge crime now, no? The guy involved in the crash was severely injured. When she eventually writes her EPQ on this, the truth is going to come out, and Pip is going to face serious consequences.
She doesn’t care. Pip bets on the fact that she can prove Sal innocent by other methods. Time to update the crime scene wall! Pip goes home and scribbles “SAL IS INNOCENT†in big orange ink. Genius, Pip. She also tapes all the evidence from the car accident to her wall — hello? Again, is this not a one-way ticket to questioning by the police about that unsolved mystery?
Later that night, Barney is growling at something outside when Pip receives an ominous message from an unknown number. Someone outside is watching her. Pip sends Barney outside to growl at the stalker — what a horrifying fluffball he is! Barney’s increased presence in this episode is sending my heart into freefall. We’ve only seen glimpses of him before. Please keep that dog safe.
Pip needs to tell her parents or, even better, phone the police. She does neither, but she does take to Instagram to post a story threatening to release the truth about Andie Bell. This, she hopes, will lure out the killer. The murderer doesn’t watch her story immediately — bigger fish to fry — but lovelorn Ravi Singh sure does. Only a minute after she’s posted the video, Ravi is on his way to her house.
It’s as if last episode’s big fight between the two has been completely erased. Ravi isn’t even upset that Pippa won’t go to the police with the proof that Sal is innocent. It’s sweet to see them flirting — playing cards, plotting heists, even sharing a bed (!!) together. This episode is a severe drop off from the one prior, mostly because it spends so much time undoing what has already happened. Pip no longer has anxiety about the case. Ravi has forgiven Pip for everything, it seems. Let bygones be bygones, I guess? Even if that means your brother will never be vindicated for the crime he didn’t commit.
The next morning, after Ravi sneaks out (without a goodbye kiss, grrrr), the Fitz-Amobi household holds a birthday party for newly minted 10-year-old Josh. In broad daylight, Pippa’s stalker steals Barney. Pip receives a text stating that, in order to get him back, she’ll need to delete her Instagram story. She removes the video — but still, Barney is found dead on her front porch. I can excuse the disappearance and death of two teenagers, but I draw the line at animal abuse.
In all seriousness, this is way too harrowing to watch. We have to see poor Josh find his dead dog on his tenth birthday, then watch the family bury it, and throughout all of this, Pippa can’t come clean about what’s actually going on.
Pip seeks solace in Ravi instead. Ravi has completely reversed course: Unlike last episode, where he was upset at Pip for wanting to back away, he now demands she put pause on everything. How is Ravi going to grow infuriated with Pip for stepping off of the investigation in one episode, but demand she leave it be in the next? I will defend this man at all costs, but my patience is wearing thin.
But before Pip even has the opportunity to back away from the case for the umpteenth time, the answer to Andie’s disappearance lands right in her lap.
Let’s take a few steps back before we get there. When Pip stole The Ivy House Hotel guest book, she attempted to call the phone number listed next to Daisy and Gatsby — it didn’t go through, but she added the contact as “Secret Older Guy?†in case she got a callback. Flash forward to the present, when said Secret Older Guy? finally rings her back. On the other end of the line is Naomi, who got the extra phone from her dad after Max broke hers.
Cara is going to suffer one way or another, be it through the mistakes of her sister or her dad.
Time to dig into the suspicious Mr. Ward. Points to Pip for some top-of-the-line sleuthing here — for a few minutes, we get some real Holmesian goodness. While catching a ride with Cara and Mr. Ward, Pip sneaks her phone underneath one of the seats to use as a tracking device. Pip also goes through the family’s printing history and finds that, the day before Cara’s birthday, Mr. Ward printed out the slip of paper that said “STOP DIGGING PIPPA.â€
My mind is blown. Not because Mr. Ward is guilty — he’s been creepy this entire time — but at the fact that a high school English teacher would fail to use a comma in that sentence. If Mr. Ward meant to leave it out in order to confuse Pippa, he’s a genius.
What would this show be without Pippa running out of the room while her friends hang out? Nothing, I tell you. After telling Ravi to send police to her phone’s location, Pip darts over to catch Mr. Ward in the act. He comes clean: He and Andie were seeing each other. He was Secret Older Guy. But there’s more to the story.
Personally, I’m still reeling from the car accident and the dead dog, but this show is now moving at lightspeed, so let’s get into it all over again. The long and short of Mr. Ward’s story is that Andie tried to blackmail him for money after they stopped sleeping together. On the night of her death, Andie showed up at his house and attacked Mr. Ward, but fell down and hit her head in the process. Andie walked out with a head wound. Mr. Ward says he didn’t kill her, but he still feels guilty.
This is wild. But it still doesn’t really solve … well, anything. Sal’s death is still inexplicable. Andie’s current location has yet to be revealed. Mr. Ward is looking like the prime suspect, especially when Pippa starts to hear banging noises from his attic. It has to be Andie, right? There’s no way it could be anyone else.
Well, it’s not Andie. Meet Isla (Georgia Lock), the woman trapped in Mr. Ward’s attic who has absolutely no connection to this entire investigation. Hi, Isla! Care to explain what the hell you’re doing here?
Ring a Bell?
• On the video Pip posts to Instagram, she announces herself. “I’m Pip Fitz-Amobi,†she says. Yeah, girl. We know. That’s a name you can’t really forget — plus, everyone watching it will see her username at the top of the screen. This is a really inconsequential detail, but another ding on the show for inaccurate social media representation.
• Victor confronts Pip about his stay at The Ivy House Hotel. He reiterates what Leanne said in the episode prior: He just needed a break. Don’t piss me off! Moms never get a break, but Victor Amobi gets stressed and suddenly he’s spending a weekend at the 5-star resort in town?
• Hidden amidst eighty more important plot details in this episode is some closure on Dan da Silva. He slept with Andie when she was just 16 — making it statutory rape. Max found out about it and blackmailed Dan into helping him cover up the hit and run.
• The disappearing jammy dodgers make sense now! Mr. Ward was bringing them to the woman trafficked inside his second home. Thank goodness, we were all worried about that missing case.