The theme of the night is clear before “Darkest Hour, Wake Thy Power†even properly begins. The first shot of the “Previously, on Agatha All Along†montage is a reminder of Agatha’s chilling backstory, flashing back to the Salem-witch-trials-era moment WandaVision showed us after revealing her true Harkness identity. We once again see Agatha tied to the stake, surrounded by her coven, and pleading with her own mother to spare her life. We once again see her blasted by their blue lightning, scream in agony, then suck every last drop of power out of their bodies until everyone — her mother, Evanora, included — drops to the ground as nothing more than husks. As Jen especially keeps trying to remind everyone, Agatha’s not one for sharing, and her track record doesn’t especially indicate an interest in helping others when she could otherwise help herself.
Then again, Rio has a different interpretation. “Her own mother tried to have her executed,†she reminds them, sharp and notably defensive of a woman whose throat she keeps trying to slit. She might not have much of a counterpoint to the accusation that Agatha’s too power hungry, but her soft spot for Agatha seems rooted in at least some kind of understanding for what led her to that stake and everything that followed. As with most villain origin stories, it seems, Agatha’s can be directly traced to a particularly harsh parent.
Motherhood — the nature of it, the generational wounds it can inflict, the inevitability of reenacting cycles you swore you never would — stalks “Darkest Hour, Wake Thy Power.†The opening scene does this extremely literally by revealing that the Salem Seven hunting Agatha are, in fact, the otherworldly offspring of the witches Agatha turned into mummies. Apparently, our intrepid witches “left the door open†for the Salem Seven after summoning the Road, and now they’re hot on Agatha’s trail. I hope Lilia’s speaking metaphorically here, because if not, there’s really no defending such a boneheaded move. First rule of escaping an enemy is to close the door behind you, c’mon.
As with their appearance in the premiere, these hooded terrors immediately set up a scene tailor-made for a Disney ride with the witches’ daring escape on — horror of all horrors — broomsticks. Everyone (except Rio) balks at this suggestion of Teen’s on the grounds that brooms are tacky and overplayed. Plus, Lilia sighs, they’re “an obvious symbol of female domesticity.†But there’s no time to argue (or ask if she’s referencing a particularly iconic scene from Batman: The Animated Series, so let’s just go with yes, because it would make me very happy). So up they go into the sky, reluctantly enjoying themselves on their “basic†steeds as they fly across a bloodred moon. Even though Teen loses his precious spell book, the kid who pregamed the Road with a wholesome “WELCOME, COVEN!†banner could not be more thrilled.
Of course, the very concept of joy is completely alien to the Road, which quickly sends them all plummeting back down and straight into a Salem One’s unhinged jaw full of insects. It’s absolutely horrible, and yet things are about to get so, so much worse!
They escape by the skin of their teeth into the house that sets the stage for this episode’s trial. Everyone’s clothes morph into 1980s pajamas (and the side ponytails to match) as they enter a candlelit cabin for a sleepover. Though they might’ve preferred to play Parcheesi, the game of the day is, obviously, a group Ouija-board session to commune with the dead. Rio immediately identifies this to be Agatha’s trial, deducing that her worst nightmare — apart from having to embody this preppy ’80s aesthetic — would be facing up to any of the many deaths she’s caused over the centuries. Agatha’s so skeeved out by the whole thing that when they do join hands over the board, she quickly pretends that the spirit of Mrs. Hart is possessing her rather than whoever she’s actually supposed to be contacting. Kathryn Hahn exaggerates her Mrs. Hart impression — “there I was, living my tiny life in the burbs, baking casseroles, linking in to conspiracy theories on Facebook, drinking before noon …†— just enough that it’s obvious Agatha’s full of shit, but that’s pretty much the last moment of levity we get all episode, so we’ll cherish it nonetheless.
When Agatha finally gives in, her mother’s spirit comes rushing through, powered by angry spite and Casper-esque CG. With her demand that they “punish Agatha,†she dissolves any team spirit the coven had on their broomstick joyride not ten minutes earlier. Rio, who clearly hates Agatha’s mother on a cellular level, hisses in protest, but Jen especially is only too happy to listen. It seems harsh, but the fact that Jen’s ultimate Road fear comes true in such awful fashion by episode’s end indicates that she may have had a point.
If the last episode was ultimately about the fierce beauty of a mother’s protective love, this one is just about its complete opposite. Whereas Alice’s mother spent her life trying to shield her daughter from a curse, Agatha’s mother spent her life believing her daughter was the curse. Though the script makes a couple stabs at keeping the banter alive (“Stop embarrassing me in front of my friends, Mom!â€), the episode takes an inescapably dire turn from here. “You were born evil,†Evanora spits at her crestfallen daughter. “I ought to have killed you the moment you were born.†It’s a slap in the face, and everyone — especially Agatha and Rio, but even Jen — feels the pain of it.
It’s so awful that, as Evanora tries to suck the life from her daughter as Agatha once did her, Alice steps in to try and make things right. But even blasting a possessed Agatha proves to be a terrible idea as her instinct, or else something deeper and darker, kicks in. There’s nothing anyone can do but watch as Agatha leeches the life out of Alice, another undeserving victim of the Road.
With the episode clocking in at just 24 minutes, the shortest run time of the series so far, “Darkest Hour, Wake Thy Power†doesn’t allow much of a mourning period for Alice — who, like Mrs. Sharon Davis Hart, deserved better. It’s both correct and a little surprising that Agatha All Along really isn’t playing with the life-and-death stakes at hand here, but Ali Ahn brought a welcome warmth to the show that will be missed.
The trial ends at the same time Alice’s life does, apparently because a distraught Teen figures out that they’re supposed to recognize the spirit of Agatha’s son, Nicholas Scratch. At this point, it must be said that this “trial†isn’t really the show’s strongest, if only because its inciting incident and end goal are nowhere near as cut and dry as the previous two. Is making Agatha hear her mother and son’s voice punishment enough if she also managed to get her purple powers back? Though she seems genuinely surprised at what she did, she’s also not-so-secretly thrilled to feel the spark between her fingers again.
Teen, grieving and infuriated, notices this. “So that’s what it means to be a witch? Killing people to serve your own agenda?,†he asks her. “No. Not for me.â€
Agatha, hungover from the worst EMDR session imaginable, seems less convinced by his attempt at righteousness. She sidles up to him, her face curling into an amused sort of disgust that, once again, proves why Kathryn Hahn is truly one of the greats. “Are you sure?†she asks in a sickening little sing-song voice, with a Rio-esque smirk. Hooking her fingers under his chin, Agatha then drops the bomb: “You’re so much like your mother.â€
At this, Teen’s fury manifests pretty quickly into something colder. Jen and Lilia — now seemingly under someone’s (Teen’s?) spell, eyes glowing a frosty, neon blue — throw Agatha into the quicksand. When they turn to Teen, he does the same to them, watching them choke on mud and their own screams. The camera pans out to show him, back in his Hot Topic eyeliner and earrings — but also in an extremely Scarlet Witch–esque metal crown that seems to confirm all our suspicions. Congrats to Joe Locke on landing the role of (we can assume? probably?) Wiccan, a.k.a. Billy, a.k.a. Wanda Maximoff’s not-so-imaginary son.
“Darkest Hour, Wake Thy Power†is dark, dramatic, and ultimately overstuffed; again, all the above happens in less than 25 minutes, and not always convincingly. But as the ’80s cabin (and once-again questionable wigs) kept bringing Stranger Things to mind, I appreciated the show’s commitment to editing. It’s noteworthy that as scripted TV keeps threatening to become completely shapeless, each episode of Agatha All Along has taken pains to have a clear purpose as part of the overall story rather than drag things out for the sake of it. I have to admire Agatha’s efficiency, even when I wish it wasn’t speeding by us faster than a broomstick out of hell.
The Snarkhold-overs:
• I’ve not been deep diving into all the Agatha fan theories just yet, but the one about Rio being an emissary of Death is feeling more plausible by the minute. In this episode alone, we get her bursting into laughter at the idea of Death visiting the cabin, then noticeably disappearing from the coven’s side in between Alice’s demise and Teen’s confrontation with Agatha. Taking care of business, maybe?
• On that note, calling it now that her and Agatha’s story will be explained in an episode titled with “The Ballad†lyric, “I hold Death’s hand in mine†(how very Dickinson).
• Kathryn Hahn line read of the week: tempting to use “pack up your shit!,†but it’s gotta be that “are you sure?,†which will definitely haunt my dreams this week, cheers.
• Did anyone else miss the singing? I kinda missed the singing! At least we got another great needle drop for the credits with Billie Eilish’s “You Should See Me in a Crown.â€
• Upon further reflection, Evanora Harkness’s ghost animation looked less Casper than A Muppet Christmas Carol’s Ghost of Christmas Past … which makes me much more afraid of her, that shit was terrifying.
• Agatha: [possessed by her rude as hell mother, shrieking evil nonsense, sticking to the rafters like an albino bat.] Rio: “Sweetheart? You okay?†That’s romance, baby!