We pick back up with the St. David in the middle of sushi-gate. There’s no vegetarian sushi for Melinda, the primary, because Anthony prioritized the more demanding Jill Zarin, and he doesn’t have time to throw something else together while he’s trying to get multiple dinner options ready to appease the guests’ different dietary restrictions. Frustrated by all the moving pieces, Anthony complains, “They think I’m an octopus.†Even his metaphors aren’t vegetarian friendly.
Fraser is worried Anthony’s not up for the job and vetoes his diarrhea-esque pad Thai plating. Unfortunately this does not save it from being cold and average. Captain Kerry joins the guests for dinner, so he’s fully aware of the failure and Jill’s critiques but keeps a game face on. Anthony admits he doesn’t have the proper experience with vegan food. I’m a vegetarian who has spent time in France, where I was often asked, “You eat chicken though, yes?†so this news is not shocking at all.
The interior is suffering this charter. They’re a stew down, and Barbie especially is feeling the extra work. She’s shutting down and feels like she can’t communicate with Fraser. She’s still being professional, yet her curt responses and cold shoulder don’t seem like genuine attempts to communicate. As they see the guests off, Fraser tries to have a nice moment, complimenting her work, but Barbie’s quiet, terse “thank you†may have well been a “fuck you.â€
Meanwhile, Dylan and Ben are happily bonding over hooking up with charter guests in the past. Dylan claims he gets hit on by so many guys and girls, but his move at a bar is doing push-ups and then slicking his eyebrows. If there’s any deck-crew drama to be had, it’s that Ben needs to choose a lead deckhand soon. Ben sees Dylan as a puppy who’s eager for the job but thinks Sunny knows the boat better. He wouldn’t want it to seem like he’s showing her favoritism, though. Speaking of their relationship, Sunny tells us she wants the kind of love she saw her parents have growing up. I wonder if they also started as a questionable work romance. Anyway, we’ll have to wait until next week to find out who will be Grenada’s Next Top Deckhand.
Everyone prepares for a windy docking, and at first, all the shots of rustling trees weren’t convincing me it was that windy. Then we see some waving flags and the guests’ hair flying everywhere, and I actually got a little nervous. But the docking is completely fine. It’s not like I was rooting for the boat to crash, but why do I feel disappointed? Okay, maybe I am rooting for a crash. Insurance would pay for it anyway.
As she departs, Melinda says the exterior crew was flawless and acknowledges they were a tough group to cook for but leaves no compliments for the interior. The tip is $20,000 or $1,667 each, the lowest of the season so far. That barely covers a VIP ticket to BravoCon.
Kerry calls Anthony to the bridge for a postmortem on dinner. Anthony knows it was bad. He feels like he’s back in school, struggling, and says, “I can see my teacher in my head telling me, ‘Damn, you’re still a fucking loser.’ Born a loser, die like a loser.†Now I’m concerned about this teacher who was seemingly bullying his students.
The new stew, Paris, meets the crew out at dinner. Fraser has FaceTimed with her before (she’s Jake from season nine’s ex-fiancée), so he’s thrilled to have her onboard. As am I, because Paris is immediately entertaining: She loves mayonnaise and doesn’t have any serotonin left, so she plans to regain happiness through others’ suffering. Xandi is excited about her new roommate because Paris loves laundry and has four years of experience. Maybe she’ll iron the napkins.
Paris has been a sole stewardess in Perth, and Sunny is immediately worried about Ben being into the pretty new girl who’s also a fellow Australian. She’s so Australian that she has two kangaroos at home and tells everyone to look up echidna penises. But back on the boat after dinner, it’s a relatively tame night. Sunny and Ben hook up in the bathroom (again) and take Ben and Kyle’s room for themselves, sending Kyle to bunk with Barbie (again). Barbie is purportedly keeping their relationship platonic. How she doesn’t cave to Kyle adorably obeying her commands with “woof woof,†I do not know.
The crew spends their day off at a resort, and it feels unfair that Paris gets this reward when she hasn’t worked yet. Although she is immediately putting in work as a confidant and go-between. Fraser fills Paris in on Barbie’s attitude issues while Barbie complains to Ben that she’s not getting breaks. Paris knows this is awkward; Fraser feels comfortable venting to her, but he’s her boss. He’s putting a lot of confidence in someone he hasn’t even seen make a bed yet.
Barbie tells Fraser she doesn’t feel like she can talk to him because she’s working for him, not with him. He doesn’t take this well. Paris listens nearby, sipping her cocktail as if watching a show. Fraser says Barbie is horrible to work with when she’s in a mood. She asks if he wants her to go. He says no; he just wants her to accept that this is yachting. Paris then consoles a crying Barbie, who explains it’s not a work issue with Fraser; it’s a personality clash. They can’t communicate without triggering each other. Paris, realizing there is very little substance to this whole thing, clocks them both as defensive drama queens. She compares herself to Dr. Phil, a no-longer-licensed psychologist whose Wikipedia page has a ten-paragraph “Controversies and lawsuits†section, which does not inspire confidence in her ability to solve this conflict.
Fraser talks to Ben, who looks like a lifeguard in his Speedo, hat, sunnies, and mic necklace that I mistook for a whistle. Fraser reverses his earlier thinking, now saying he’s done with Barbie and doesn’t want to give her another charter. Lifeguard Ben can’t save it. And hopefully a real lifeguard has an eye on Anthony, who sadly floats away on an inflatable swan tube. Similarly, Xandi’s in a dinosaur tube lamenting the lack of a man for her.
Dylan, rather than using push-ups, attempts to hit on Paris by saying it’s so funny her name is Paris when she’s from Australia, she looks like she could wear Crocs, and does she like Steve Irwin? Paris (and I) find this cringe. Paris tells us he’s gorgeous, but personality wise he’s a three. Ouch. Though I am dying to hear the full story that includes Dylan saying, “Everything’s Gucci in the world, and then I looked down, and my right nut was out.â€
Ben and Paris connect after firefighting the Fraser/Barbie inferno all day. As they’re talking, Ben puts his hand on her knee. It looks awkward, but Paris doesn’t seem to mind. Suddenly they’re holding arms in a drunken way that feels all the more inappropriate in full daylight. And, of course, Sunny sees this. Sunny tells Xandi she wishes she had had important conversations with Ben, such as, “I don’t think we should touch other people.†This is not a standard step in defining a relationship; it’s a conversation you have with a child who doesn’t understand personal space.
Paris tries to vouch for Barbie with Fraser as he gets ready for the evening. She says he and Barbie are too similar, and he doesn’t like that assessment at all. He also appears to be putting blush all over his face for a sunburned look. Barbie, multitasking even on her day off, cries on the phone with her mom while doing her makeup. Let’s hope her concealer is waterproof.