The latest season of Vanderpump Rules may be over, but the Bravo gods have blessed us with Below Deck’s own version of Scandoval to keep us occupied, with Gary in the Tom Sandoval role, Colin sort of in Ariana’s shoes, and Daisy as a version of Raquel who’s much less in the wrong.
After Colin fixes the clogged toilet in Mads and Daisy’s cabin, everyone gathers for the tip meeting, where Captain Glenn shares that they got a $13,000 tip. This might be good for a short charter, but I feel like those ladies should’ve paid more since one guest had the nerve to accuse the crew of stealing her stuff and then didn’t even bother apologizing.
The crew pregame their night out with a small party for Gary, where Daisy jokes that they should all drink every time Gary sleeps with a stew, which kills the mood and makes him upset. He pulls Daisy aside and asks her to be nice to him because she always brings him “down in front of people†with her rude comments disguised as jokes. Daisy dwells on this throughout dinner, confiding in Ileisha that she feels bad because she never intended to hurt his feelings. But really, Daisy is doing God’s work by humbling him.
Once they’re back on the boat, Mads, Alex, and Lucy share a short three-way kiss while Gary asks Colin if he will hook up with Daisy again. Moments later, while Colin is at the bar with Alex, Daisy practically begs Gary to give her a hug, and he tells her he’ll give her a kiss, too, as long as the guys aren’t looking. She then apologizes to Gary for making him feel bad, and he says that it hurts more when it comes from her because “I care for you so much.†I can’t tell if Gary genuinely has feelings for Daisy or if he’s just desperate to keep her away from Colin.
Daisy shares that she has never had a romantic experience like the one she has with Colin, who isn’t like other guys (*cough* Gary) because he’s loyal and kind. Cut to a shot of the hallway leading to the guest cabins, where Gary and Mads are banging as Gary sings “happy birthday to me!†in a way that will haunt me forever. Petition for Bravo to stop including the cringey sex noises, not just because it’s gross but because they at least deserve a sliver of privacy.
The crew gets the entire next day off, which they’ll be spending at a touristy local beach club with their own private cabana, which becomes the site of so much chaos. Let’s get the non-love-triangle drama out of the way first. While drunk Mads wants to have sex so badly that she’ll constantly slither into Gary’s bed, sober Mads is completely repulsed by the man. She calls him a “weirdo†for touching her belly button, and instead of listening, he keeps touching her so much that Colin tells him to “stop being clingy,†which is the best advice he’ll ever hear.
Later, in a moment straight out of Love Island, Mads and Lucy step away from the group to chat on the daybed about where Mads’s “head is at.†Mads says she doesn’t take Gary seriously (who would?) because of his shitty personality and behavior, and I can’t blame her. She adds that she won’t show “serious emotions†to someone who doesn’t act serious toward her, which is a level of emotional maturity rare in Gary’s past onscreen romantic partners. In a confessional, Lucy, the Parsifal’s new voice of reason, says that she feels bad for Mads because Gary has trapped her despite not being exclusive. Mads has really only been hooking up with Gary out of convenience, so I’d love to see her finally pursue something with Alex, who is much hotter than Gary.
Ileisha, who is excited to finally have the chance to relax, instead gets thrown into a bad mood when Colin mentions how the chef last season, Marcos, was on another level of excellence in the galley. Ileisha takes this as an insult to her work and runs to the bathroom to cry, telling us that Colin should be uplifting her instead of bringing her down. I don’t think Colin intended the comment to be hurtful, but I still feel for Ileisha. Not only has she been a refreshing presence on the show, but she has consistently put out amazing meals despite the hurdles that have come her way. I’d hate to see her let some minor feedback get in the way right after she’s finally received some positive comments from Captain Glenn.
Speaking of Captain Glenn, he takes advantage of having the boat all to himself by spending the day playing on the eFoil and having drinks in the Jacuzzi. Relatable king! I would do anything to see an episode composed of just clips of him doing random things around the boat.
Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, it’s time to dig into the main event. Gary and Daisy spend the entire beach day being very touchy with each other. Gary tells her how beautiful she looks several times and, even worse, goes so far as to motorboat her boobs. Gary has absolutely zero respect for Colin or Mads, whom he was just commanding not to be affectionate with other men. And I hate to say it, but Daisy also doesn’t show much consideration for Colin here. Colin is shocked by what he’s witnessing even though, as he tells us, they’ve always had a flirty dynamic (he’s so clueless). Welcome to the world of Below Deck boatmances, Colin! All of this behavior from Gary and Daisy (but mostly Daisy) is baffling to me, but I have to assume that the editors played it up as a segue into the bombshell reveal.
Speaking of the big reveal, Gary spills that he and Daisy previously had sex, which would’ve been much more exciting — albeit unsurprising because it was pretty obvious — had it not already been spoiled by the mid-season preview. In the moments leading up to the reveal, Gary gets annoyed at dinner when he sees Daisy and Colin engaging in PDA. He tells Daisy that he thinks “we need to be together,†and Daisy says that his immediately hooking up with Mads at the start of the season showed her what she meant to him. Gary then says, “I know you like Colin as a mate, but I know you actually have feelings for me,†which is manipulative as hell.
They leave the table to continue arguing, and Gary tells Daisy that everything would’ve been different had he not gotten COVID and then suggests that she’s only hooking up with Colin to spite him. Daisy tells him she doesn’t want to be with him because he bangs everyone and that he only wants her now that he can’t have her, which is all true. He then snidely says that “Having sex with you was fucking amazing,†in a way that is so sinister I wanted to slap him. Daisy confirms in a confessional that they slept together twice after season three wrapped — once while in Menorca and the other time during a trip to Disneyland — and that she asked him not to tell anyone.
Look, I know this is a reality show and everything, but it’s childish and borderline evil for Gary to disclose their personal information in such a retaliatory way. You can’t spend years acting like a fuckboy and then get mad when someone you like yet constantly disregard starts hooking up with someone else. Gary’s the one speaking publicly about their personal lives for revenge, yet he believes that Daisy is pursuing Colin to get back at him … make it make sense!!
In what feels like fan fiction at this point, Daisy feels torn between the bad boy and the nice guy. Regardless of how much she denies having feelings for Gary, it’s clear there’s still a spark there. If she didn’t feel anything for him, she would’ve shut him down and fully moved on a long time ago, but she tells us that the only thing really holding her back from being with him is the fact that he’s a manwhore who can’t stay loyal. While she may have real feelings for Colin, I think she only believes she should be with him because he’s the more well-adjusted and acceptable choice.
Back on the boat, Alex tells Mads he would “totally smash†her, and for a second, she has him convinced that they will before she ditches him to jump in Gary’s bed. This dumb decision made me want to scream at my laptop since she’s been waiting all season for Alex to make a move.
While Daisy and Colin make out in bed, she stops and decides that it’s the perfect time to let him know that she and Gary had sex twice, which makes him feel “a little confused†since he thought there wasn’t anything going on between them. Valid! Especially since they’ve denied it all season. He decides to go sleep in his room, and Daisy begs him not to leave as he expresses how he feels stupid for being lied to by his friends.
This episode may have delivered the goods (drama), but I can’t help but be put off by Gary’s increasingly disgusting behavior, which has become more difficult to watch by the minute.