The genius minds behind Sailing Yacht have saved the messiest, booze-fueled guests for last, and for that I am thankful. Instead of the penultimate episode heavily focusing on repetitive and petty crew drama, absurd guest conflict is helping end this season with a bang.
But first, let’s return to the jaw-dropping moment that concluded the previous episode. We pick up with Gary yelling at Mads for not telling him she was on her period (she confirms that she isn’t). In a confessional, he says he had an outburst because Alex knew the information first when he was the one “licking her vagina,†immediately assuming that it meant the pair were hooking up. Gary always jumps to conclusions and never thinks before he acts, and his reaction to this situation is the cherry on top of a pile of toxic behavior. Alex calls Colin and Gary the “biggest gossip queens,†which is true. But it doesn’t erase the fact that he also had a hand in this. Hasn’t he learned that secrets don’t exist on this boat?
After things cool down, Captain Glenn fires up the boat and leaves the dock to save time by setting up the water toys before the guests arrive via tender. Meanwhile, the Mads and Gary situation drags on as Gary tells Mads he was embarrassed to ask her about her period yet fails to actually apologize. At the same time, Alex blames Colin for turning it into a big deal, and Colin says he didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sure he’s relishing watching Gary act like an idiot, though. Alex then shares that he hadn’t pursued Mads out of respect for Gary but might do so now. The way these men treat women like objects to be toyed with is repulsive.
Later while cleaning the boat, Alex asks Gary if they’re on good terms. “No,†Gary responds, stating that it’s because Alex is stirring the pot to get a reaction out of him. Alex counters that he never intended for things to escalate and that it wasn’t his fault Gary reacted the way he did. “It just goes to show Gary’s leadership style is dysfunctional and toxic as fuck,†Alex shares in a confessional. True, and imagine how much simpler things would be if Gary could take accountability for his shitty behavior. It’s also mindblowing how none of them have taken into consideration how it makes Mads feel to have her personal business spread around without her consent.
In the engine room, Daisy tells Colin she hopes he hasn’t been talking to the guys about her because she’s shocked by how disrespectful Gary was toward Mads. Colin just nods and smiles as if he didn’t also play a role in the situation. This seems like the type of “dick move†he’s been calling out all season long.
While Gary and Chase head to shore to pick up the guests, Lucy and Mads discuss whether the married couple in a throuple take turns with their boyfriend and how they’d be too jealous to ever be in a throuple (same!). Once settled on the boat, the guests change into their swimsuits and head outside to play on the water toys. Alex helps Debra, co-primary Todd’s mother, onto a unicorn floaty that’s tied to the swim platform due to the strong current, but she eventually lets it loose and starts floating away while Alex is in the laz. He successfully prevents a horrible situation from happening by jumping into the water and pulling her back to the boat, safe and sound. It would’ve been a nightmare to end the season with another guest injury (or worse).
In their cabin, Colin and Chase discuss how Gary asked Chase to take the day shift so that he could avoid working with Alex, which is downright childish. In a confessional, Chase — the only mature man on the boat — says that Gary’s immature approach to dealing with conflict is what landed him in this sticky situation, which is true. The interior, meanwhile, is frustrated by the amount of alcohol the guests are consuming because it means constantly having to serve drinks. Girls, it could be worse!
While Captain Glenn sails, Ray, one member of the throuple, is so drunk that he goes to his cameraless cabin — the master suite, despite not being the primary — and starts arguing with Nic, his boyfriend, who’s trying to help by offering water and keeping him from “falling and breaking your damn neck.†Things get heated after Ray apparently wakes up on the floor. Nic attempts to defend himself by saying he tried to help but that Ray wouldn’t let him. Brad, Ray’s husband, backs Nic’s claim, and Ray cuts him off by telling Nic he’s a “guest of fucking mine,†which Brad corrects as “ours.†Mads and Lucy overhear the argument while delivering clothes the primaries asked to have pressed and report back to Daisy and Captain Glenn about the situation. Captain Glenn, who desperately wants the final charter to go smoothly, asks them to inform him if anything escalates. Not only is Ray killing the mood, but he’s not even the primary to be acting this damn entitled.
At the Glamazon–themed dinner, not even Ileisha’s incredible meal can put a stop to Ray’s classless, drunken antics. As Lucy discovers that Ray vomited in the sink and didn’t bother cleaning it after, the guests discuss, as Debra says, the public appearances of people that look like they “don’t have mirrors in their house.†Brad specifically references “very large people in very tiny clothes†who have “no respect for others around us.†Now I understand why he’s married to an asshole like Ray. The lovely co-primary Grant says that it doesn’t matter as long as the people are happy. He and Ray get into it because Ray says it matters since “you wouldn’t fuck them,†which Grant says isn’t the point. Ray tells him to shut up, followed by, “Don’t ever try me again, bitch.†Grant fights back by saying, “You barked at me, motherfucker.†It’s baffling that people like Ray choose to behave like this when knowing the world will see it, but at the same time, guests who can’t stand each other make for absolute peak Below Deck drama.
The primaries, like mature humans, leave the table to calm down. Shortly after, Ray decides it’s a good idea to head down to their cabin to talk with them. He walks into Grant and Todd’s room, and they tell him to leave before he can finish his sentence. When Ray refuses, they continue shouting at him to get out just as Captain Glenn arrives to make sure it doesn’t become physical. Captain Glenn, who’s rarely confrontational, tells Ray that if he sees anyone getting “agro†they’ll be kicked off the boat, and, of course, Ray gets defensive toward him. Um, nobody raises their voice at Captain Glenn!
Back on deck, Debra tells Brad that he deserves better than the monstrous Ray, and I sort of agree. Brad, whose no ray (sorry) of sunshine either, shares that Ray would “take me for everything I have†if they got divorced because they don’t have a prenup. It’s giving soap opera. I can’t imagine how much more awful Ray’s behavior is offscreen. Nic needs to run as fast as he can in the opposite direction from this awful man!!
The next morning, the guests, minus the throuple, enjoy breakfast before heading to shore for a beach workout. One guest says he wore his cursed Fyre Festival T-shirt as a reminder that “no matter how bad it gets, it could be worse.†Iconic! By the time the throuple emerges from their chamber, everyone’s already at the beach, where only the primaries and Alex are working out and using Mads as a plank platform. This distance between the two groups of guests is beneficial because there’s only so much of Ray’s bitching one can handle.
Poor Lucy once again walks into the master cabin to discover the sink covered in Ray’s puke and that the toilet hasn’t been flushed, which sets her off. She FaceTimes her dad and has a breakdown over how the guests are “fucking animals,†and he reminds her that she only has a few days left before leaving it all behind. After seeing the state of the cabin throughout the charter (Bravo, please stop including shots of the toilet bowls, I’m begging), her feelings are justified. Cleaning messes may come with the job, but these grown men are filthy.
On deck, Colin notices that Gary isn’t his “normal perky self†and thinks it’s because Alex and Mads are on the beach together. Gary says it’s because he’s tired of people, namely Daisy, asking how he feels about Mads because it shouldn’t concern anyone. Later in the engine room, Colin, who’s now perpetually paranoid when it comes to Gary and Daisy, tells Daisy that he doesn’t understand why she was asking Gary about Mads in the laundry room the previous day. Daisy counters that it’s because she noticed Gary was upset and that it wasn’t randomly brought up. In a confessional, Colin says that his “defensive mode mechanisms are kicking in†because Gary “won’t step aside†and let him and Daisy explore their relationship.
The episode concludes with Daisy and Colin discussing how Gary’s “desperate for a relationship.†More like he just wants attention and validation. Daisy says that Colin is the guy she wants to be with, which she’s said so many times that it feels like she’s mostly trying to convince herself that Colin is the right pick. However, she finally comes to her senses and realizes that Gary’s trying to “fuck with our relationship†and that boundaries need to be drawn. Better late than never!