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Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Colin the Hero

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Worst Vacation Ever
Season 4 Episode 2
Editor’s Rating 4 stars

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Worst Vacation Ever
Season 4 Episode 2
Editor’s Rating 4 stars
Photo: Bravo/Fred Jagueneau/Bravo

Another episode without Gary is a bummer, but I’m pleasantly surprised that the crew has been on good behavior despite the mountain of issues already coming its way (sloppy guests, the engine, and no first officer). Even Mads, who seems to be here more for the partying than work, is completing her tasks to stay on Daisy’s good side.

We pick up where last week’s episode left off: with Captain Glenn and Colin figuring out how to get out of their broken engine situation. Since the season isn’t going to be short-lived, they end up taking it into their own hands and try to fix it themselves. Captain Glenn informs the guests that the boat won’t be leaving the dock again, adding that they’ll still be able to spend the day at a nearby beach. It’s not like they have abundant options!

As the crew prepares for the beach excursion, a montage captures a stressed-out Captain Glenn making phone calls as he tries to find a supplier for the parts needed to get the boat patched up. I feel for him; all he wants to do is sail and give guests a good experience! As if he doesn’t already have enough on his plate, the guests invite him to join them for dinner, which he accepts graciously.

As they get ready to leave in the tender, the guests request ice for their cocktails, but Alex isn’t able to find it amongst the several coolers required to keep the drinks flowing. This escalates into a big situation, with Captain Glenn radioing Daisy, who is complaining about work to Colin in the crew mess, to bring more ice. She frustratingly runs out on the deck and informs him that it’s in the boat, which sets him off and causes him to yell at her. Daisy was ultimately right, though, because the ice was in a cooler sitting in the tender all along.

Chase and Lucy are tasked with going to the beach, where Chase keeps encouraging her as they set up the chairs and water toys. “Chase is not annoying; he’s just so positive,” Lucy says in a confessional. She adds, “We’re just so opposite. Moaning gets me through life.” Everyone adores Chase and his “Southern charm,” including the guests, who are impressed that he’s doing several tasks simultaneously. Chase seems to try a bit too hard to be liked at times, but he was really working his ass off in this episode. The guy needs some sleep! Back on the boat, Lucy, staying true to her clumsy personality, drops a tray of glassware in the kitchen and cries. “I feel like this boat is ruining me,” she says. Honey, it’s only going to get worse from here.

Immediately after the plastered guests return to the Parsifal, they ask for espresso martinis for what seems like the tenth time that day. Sitting at the hot tub, the guest named Karen voices what we’ve all been thinking, “It’s one thing to not be able to sail without wind, but you don’t check your engines before somebody comes on? That’s on you.” Agreed, but at least it’s keeping us occupied.

Later, a miracle finally happens in the engine room. Using his impressive experience of having previously fixed damaged boats, Colin gets the water out of the engine, so the boat is now up and running to an extent. “I don’t know many engineers that would take this on, but it kind of excites me in a way,” he shares. Everyone is “stoked,” and I am too. We are in desperate need of some action. “Colin’s always been a legend, but he’s just gone up three notches in my eyes,” Captain Glenn says, speaking for all of us. What would we do without him???

Given that the boat’s lack of sailing makes for an uneventful trip, this episode really leans into laying out a web of possible boatmances. “Historically, my dating profile would be brunettes with nice teeth,” Alex tells us, essentially describing himself. Instead, he has to make do with what he’s got, which is three blondes. Meanwhile, Mads places importance on personality but doesn’t mind as long as the crew knows how to “screw.” She has the yachtie mentality down to a T. Foreshadowing what occurs the next day, we see Daisy and Alex flirting in the crew mess as he helps clean wine glasses. “I really do enjoy looking at him,” Daisy admits. Girl, same.

On turndown duty, Lucy is immediately horrified by the state of the bedrooms, which somehow look worse than they did in the morning. I, too, am disgusted. The carpet and bed sheets are stained with blood, and clothes are scattered everywhere. “I’m not your fucking maid,” she says in a confessional before realizing that her job is to clean up after nasty people.

Remember what I said about chef Ileisha’s bad time management possibly haunting her in the kitchen? Well, as Scheana Shay’s Penny Lane tattoo says, it’s all happening. While prepping for dinner, she seems overwhelmingly stressed, which she says stems from her perfectionist tendencies. Though everyone enjoys the food, the hammered and exhausted guests grow annoyed by the long wait between courses, which is caused by Ileisha’s overthinking and indecisiveness. Seriously, she takes ages to figure out how to cut and plate a piece of steak. Also, if I recall correctly, the guests had requested that this meal have truffles on everything. Yet, only one dish features it. Fortunately for Ileisha, the guests are so out of it that they probably can’t remember what’s on their preference sheet.

Departure day finally arrives the following morning. Before they go on their merry way, the primary and Karen — who somewhat lives up to her name’s stereotype — pull Captain Glenn aside for a chat. They inform him that they had a horrible trip and call out the interior for being a “hot mess” because they didn’t provide toilet paper and towels. Look, I get it; you didn’t end up getting what you paid a discounted price for. But I really do think Daisy and the stews were trying their best, given how messy and demanding these ladies ended up being. It’s also still the first charter, so it was never going to be perfect. While this is happening, the other guests seated in the saloon discuss chipping in to raise the tip because neither the primary nor Karen “wanted to give extra money.” I swear, my jaw dropped.

After the guests leave, Daisy reassures Lucy and Mads that they worked as hard as possible and will have to make it their goal to improve the quality of service. Captain Glenn then calls for the first tip meeting of the season. Much to everyone’s pleasant surprise (myself included), he announces that the guests left a $19,100 tip, which comes down to 2,105 euros per person. Despite the complaints, Captain Glenn has nothing but praise for the crew, shouting out Colin for literally saving the season and thanking the deckies and stews for doing a great job.

With the charter behind us, it’s time for shit to get real because the first crew night out has arrived! To celebrate, Captain Glenn has organized a dinner for the crew, and everyone is thrilled to have some time off to drink. “I am mad at the boat; me and the boat aren’t friends right now. I quickly remembered why I drink so much,” Daisy says in a confessional. Later in the evening, Alex says that drunk Daisy is his “spirit animal.” I love this for her.

Dinner, which allows everyone to get to know one another better — we find out that Lucy graduates from school soon and that Chase once made a four-day road trip around Ireland — essentially serves as an appetizer for the more messy, alcohol-fueled main course that is partying on the boat. We all know that’s where all the actual magic (Read: drama) happens. Colin opts out of getting “shitfaced” because he wants to be on his A-game for the next charter, and I have to respect that.

As the champagne flows and the crew gets wild in the hot tub, the editors masterfully cut to a shot of Captain Glenn tucked away in bed reading a book. Daisy and Mads share a kiss, and Daisy and Alex dance before he kisses her on the cheek. “You’re so pretty doing your thing in the hot tub,” he tells Daisy, who doesn’t appear to be aware of what planet she’s on. Alex tells Chase, “I kinda love Daisy. I also love Mads. Whoever gets there first…” He’s shaping up to be Gary 2.0.

The episode concludes with the group deciding to play truth or dare, which leads to Alex making out with Daisy, then with Mads, and then with Daisy again. Oof. Chase, whose biggest red flag so far is the eagle tattooed across his chest, gets dared to kiss Lucy, who moments before was telling Mads that she “cannot do Chase” because he’s “too American.”

Thankfully, it seems like Gary will be coming back to shake things up next week. But I’m mostly just hoping that we get to see Captain Glenn do what he does best: Impress the guests with his chaotic sailing.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Recap: Colin the Hero