All of the dumb drama we’ve had to put up with lately finally pays off in this episode, which is absolutely perfect from start to finish. I won’t jump ahead, but we finally get what we’ve all been waiting for.
As Captain Glenn has a successful sail, the topic on everyone’s minds today is the dreaded talent show because they’re apparently a talentless bunch and Daisy doesn’t think they’ll be able to top last year’s show. Captain Glenn says the best he can do is “crack jokes,†and Lucy and Mads discuss doing a cheerleading routine. Later, Ileisha, who is perpetually stressed, has no idea what she will do, and Lucy reveals that she can move her breasts while Daisy attempts to teach the girls Irish dance.
While the guests head outside for watersports, Gary tells Colin about how he has to talk to Alex about the dirty boat because Chase complained. Colin says nobody has ever told Alex “that he’s done something wrong†and jokes that it’s because he’s “too good-looking.†Pretty privilege is real! “The situation with Alex leaving the boat in a poor condition is a tough one for me,†Chase shares, adding that he’s frustrated that Gary won’t let him speak directly with his fellow deckie because it makes him look like a “tattle-tale.â€
Gary pulls Alex aside for a chat and tells him that the boat looked like “absolute shit†and that even Captain Glenn commented on how bad the flybridge looked. Alex is shocked because he spent “like six hours on it.†“I just think it was very unfair on Chase for you to leave the boat like that,†Gary says. And just when I think Gary can do something right, he immediately throws Chase under the bus by saying that Chase thought Alex was being lazy, which Alex is surprised by. Gary says that Chase was “fucking livid†about Alex’s lack of work, which I don’t think is completely true. Alex is pissed because he thinks “Chase is attacking me behind my back†and won’t talk to him about it directly. Well, Chase wasn’t necessarily attacking him so much as going to his superior about a work issue, and it was Gary who stopped his plan on having a one-on-one chat with Alex.
Back inside, Mads and Alex are talking, and Alex says something about how Mads isn’t stupid because she went to college while Gary overhears. Because he’s a jealous person, he tells Mads to come over to him, and she says he looks busy, and he says he’s never too busy for her. Alex: “Over it.†The pair head outside, and Gary says, “Now that we’ve hooked up twice, I just wanted to know what you want out of it,†and asks if she’s down for a “casual hookup.†She says yes, and then he says he doesn’t like when she flirts with other people and that her holding hands with Alex is “a bit intimate.†Someone needs to tell Gary that the entire purpose of a casual hookup is that you aren’t tied down to one person. “I don’t know Gary’s expectations, but I like to enjoy myself,†Mads shares.
For dinner, which is a seafood palooza, Ileisha makes a family-style meal, which makes me think about how Captain Sandy would just about die if she saw a chef do that two nights in a row. The food includes Greek salad, bacon-crumbed scallops, lobster mac and cheese, and grilled lobster with lemon sauce. The food looks incredible, and the guests love it.
Captain Glenn kicks off the “second annual Big Jim Talent Show†with a series of jokes that aren’t very funny, but everyone laughs at anyway. Chase’s talent appears to be catching food with his mouth, and Mads and Ileisha do an acrobatic thing. Lucy moves her boobs, which doesn’t impress Alex but impresses the guests. “I rate it double D’s,†Jim says. Mads and Lucy then do a cheerleading routine and all the girls perform an entertaining Irish dancing performance. The show concludes with the winner: an original song by Colin about the crew, which Alex helps sing. Daisy says she’s proud of the team and that Colin is “so cute.â€
Outside, Alex, Chase, and Gary continue the discussion about the boat, and Chase seems mostly unbothered and tells Alex that he knows he isn’t intentionally trying to “screw me.†Alex is confused because, “From what I can tell, either Chase isn’t that fired up about it, or maybe Gary was instigating some drama.†Gary always loves starting shit, and while Chase was definitely mad that he had to pick up the slack, Gary exaggerated a bit.
The next day is guest drop-off, and Gary is pleased with Alex’s night shift cleaning. Gary and Colin talk about the forthcoming night out, and Gary says he doesn’t think Mads “takes me seriously.†Who would at this point? He then adds that he wants “to fall in love so badly,†and Colin tells us he thinks Gary is “all talk†and a “stage five†clinger. He adds that it’s funny to see how Mads “isn’t completely giving into all of his shenanigans,†and I agree.
When one issue falls (the broken engine), another rises as they prepare to dock only to realize their spot in between two boats is “bone tight.†Captain Glenn says, “Focus is absolutely critical†because he can do a lot of damage if one thing goes wrong. The stews have to help out with the fenders, and after slowly trying to fit into their spot, they do it successfully. The guests finally depart, leaving a massive $27,000 tip and a near-perfect charter for the crew to celebrate.
As they get ready for the night, Chase is blabbering about random things and Mads thinks he’s being “obnoxious already.†Already drunk, he barges inside and asks, “Are there any men left with any balls left in this world?†because nobody wants to drink beer out of a funnel and he begs Gary to. Gary thinks Chase is a try-hard who is a “lovable guy, but interesting.†Chase encapsulates everything I hate about the all-American energy that men love giving off.
Gary joins the girls in the sprinter van this time, and it goes horribly wrong. He tells them about what he and the guys think of all of them, including how everyone wants to hook up with Daisy, but they’re all scared of her and that Lucy, as she interprets it, is a “bloke.†In the guys’ van, Colin asks Chase which of the girls he’d hook up with, and he says Ileisha, but that he respects that she has a boyfriend. Colin is surprised by the answer, but I’m not because Ileisha is one of the coolest girls to ever be on the show. He then starts talking about how Lucy has “some tig ol’ bitties†and that he wants to drink tequila through them. Ew!
At dinner — which Ileisha eventually departs from early because she’s feeling sick — Gary reveals to Colin that he spilled to the girls about what the guys said about them and that they didn’t take it well. Colin is annoyed because it’s a “direct violation of bro code rule number one: Don’t tell the girls what you said about them.†Colin asks the girls if they were offended by what was said, and Lucy says she mostly thought it was funny.
The rest of dinner is Chase-centric because he sucks. He asks Lucy if he can drink tequila between her “boobies,†and she swears on her mother and father’s life that he will never ever get between them. He later wants to cheers to “boobies,†and Lucy tells him that there’s “always a time and a place†for the things he says, and he tells her to give him a break because he’s drunk, which pisses her off. Chase is absolutely disgusting and inappropriate, and using alcohol as an excuse for your shitty behavior is always a dumb move.
Meanwhile, Gary tells Mads in Spanish that she’s a “hottie†and says, “I don’t think we can ask, at our age, if you want to be my girlfriend?†She tells him to slow down, and they later make out in the van back to the boat as Daisy, according to Gary, looks at him as if he had just cheated on her. Colin tells Gary that he doesn’t think he actually likes Mads but that he’s only interested because she’s the only girl who gave him the time of day, which is probably true.
Mads joins Gary in his bunk, but Chase is intent on not letting them hook up in there, so they leave and start sneaking around the boat, which makes Gary feel like a “schoolgirl.†They head into one of the guest cabins, where we hear them having sex, and Colin and Alex start running around the boat trying to find them. When they do, they walk in on Gary and Mads hooking up, which makes Mads angry, and rightfully so. The guys think it’s funny, but it clearly isn’t, and I feel bad for Mads. Daisy is confused because Mads “stormed†into their room, so she and Colin go look for Gary.
This brings us to the moment we’ve been anticipating since the start of the season, which simply does not disappoint. The last minute of this episode is a masterpiece. As Daisy and Colin head back upstairs, they start kissing!!!! They move things into Colin’s room, but since annoying Chase is there, they decide to go hookup in Daisy’s cabin, and Mads returns to Gary. After so much teasing about Colin and Daisy’s relationship, I can’t believe it’s finally here. I’m rooting for them!