We all saw Captain Lee’s departure coming from a mile away. The job demands a certain physicality, and the man’s entire left side is numb. He tells Rachel he can’t even tell if he is wearing a shoe! This is not Kyle of Below Deck Mediterranean’s sprained ankle, this is an injury, and he needs some real R&R, especially if he wants to recover fully. Also, I’m sure Bravo’s insurance only covers so much. The only question remaining: Who is his replacement? Are we keeping it in the family or introducing a new character to our beloved franchise? I wouldn’t hate Captain Sandy, and I wouldn’t wish this chaotic crew on Captain Glenn. Maybe fresh blood would be for the best. I want someone to whip Camille into shape.
I only have one message for that girl: Camille, be fuckin’ for real. Kim Kardashian must have been watching screeners for this season when she famously proclaimed that it seems like nobody wants to work these days, because Camille sure doesn’t.
Picking up from where we left off, Camille claims the coolers can’t be found when they were (surprise) exactly where Alissa left them. By the time she arrives 45 minutes later, she refuses to pour a bottle of wine, saying she’s not on service — she’s only around for docking duties. Rachel and Katie are quick to correct her. There are only three of them, and they’re servicing a beach picnic … that means it’s all hands on deck. Rachel relays what went down to Fraser back onboard, who is simmering.
Let’s tally up her bad behavior: She sasses Ross over the walkie-talkie; insists to Fraser that she go to bed before everyone else because she has an early-morning wakeup call as a deckie (news flash: Everyone has early-morning wakeup calls while yachting), which, judging by the footage, she sleeps through anyway; says the dock fenders are set when they aren’t; doesn’t clean the iron; idles during docking; tries (and luckily fails) to throw Ross and Fraser under the bus to Captain Lee during the tip meeting; and makes out with Ben any and everywhere. But even a broken clock is right twice a day, and her observation that Ross is a himbo is absolutely correct.
I hope Fraser has the chutzpah to do something about her. He and Ross sit her down after the tip meeting, but I don’t think that’s enough. Fraser needs to make a move. It won’t be pretty! Maybe it won’t be popular! But he’s the chief stew, and it’s up to him to set the tone. At this point, he’s had side conversations about Camille with Ross, Rachel, and Hayley. It’s time to act. I also wonder if the new captain will detect Camille’s bullshit immediately and send her off.
I wouldn’t mind if Ross were sent away, either. He is officially worse than Gary. And that’s saying something. First, he and Katie randomly make out on the tender en route to the beach picnic and later make out in the hallway that night. Then, when Alissa runs her fingers through his hair, he tells Alissa that he and Katie aren’t a thing, but that he and Alissa could possibly be a thing, and makes out with her during the crew’s night out. Katie confronts Ross, telling him that if he wants to go for Alissa, she doesn’t want to stand in his way. But he still flirts with her and sends mixed messages. When the cast heads home from the club and into the hot tub, Katie decides she’s had enough of this show and calls it a night, only for Ross to pop up in her room. Leave this girl alone! You were just all over Alissa in front of Katie! Let her sob in peace. Katie isn’t asking for much; she simply wants Ross’s behavior to remain consistent. Don’t flirt with Katie and then make out with Alissa in one fell swoop. It’s gross.
Ross also admits to Fraser the extent of his sex addiction and, in a confessional, says that “there are solutions” that he’ll probably “use.” Wonderful. I am so glad that Alissa and Katie are available for your use! We also need to take a minute to address Ross’s Bali bomb drop. I want to know everything and then promptly have my memory erased. Why is this man telling poor Fraser that he’s an “absolute whore dog”? Let’s learn the art of mystery, shall we?
Ben, on the other hand, knows how to divulge appropriate information. I loved learning about Ben’s dancing past! Good for Ben for taking dance classes twice a week and aspiring to be in Thunder From Down Under. Express yourself, sweetie! That’s my lead deckhand; yes that is!
Rachel also kills it in this episode. Her dedication dinner was a hit, and each guest felt special. That’s how you make the big bucks, which here was $23,000. From the footage, we see Captain Lee shut down the doctors’ inquiries into his nerve issue, but I wonder if they talked shop while the cameras were off. He has the utmost respect for these guests, and I wonder if they talked some sense into him. As he says, he owes it to his crew to do right by them; in this case, doing right means walking away.
From the Galley
• Ross on Camille: “Having Camille on deck is like having an attractive Labrador. Great for morale, not particularly useful to me.”
• Ben on dancing and his Thunder Down Under dreams: “I think I just love to bust a move.”
• Tony on priorities: “I would not waste opportunity to sleep.”
• And this: Hayley says, “This pot is me.” Fraser replies, “It is, isn’t it? Completely empty, totally useless.”