Bill Schaefer Knows the Difference Between Delis and Bodegas

Despite living in these frankly precedented times, we are fully existing in the future. And a futuristic lifestyle calls for a modern approach to our traditional “Follow Friday� column. We at Vulture have pivoted from our Luddite ways, opting for a more interactive digital angle on what was once mere text on a web page. We want you to get to know our favorite up-and-coming comics, writers, and generally funny social-media presences face-to-face (or at least screen-to-screen). So we hope you enjoy our new and improved Instagram Live–based version of “Follow Friday.�

This week, I sat down with former child bride Bill Schaefer (Quality Time, Chloe and Bill Show, honestly spending a lot of time doing comedy at Easy Lover in Brooklyn) for a chat about dating apps, kickboxing, and being the right kind of biracial. He told us the (dramatic) story behind his journey into stand-up comedy, lamented his “mess-withable� face despite his height and presence, and bonded with me over our extremely misleading names. He also detailed the one thing that gets his goat the most about non-native New Yorkers: “Here’s the thing. I grew up in New York City my entire life: Queens, right off of Jamaica Avenue, lots of storefronts and stuff like that. And I swear to God, it wasn’t until about 2015 when I was hanging out at UCB that everyone started calling every corner store and deli a bodega. They were not that way growing up, on God. And I’ve talked to other people and been like, ‘When did this switch happen?’�

You can find Bill on Twitter at @billiamschaefer and Instagram at @billdagawdd.