Sebastian Conelli Has Been on the Front Lines at Costco

Despite living in these frankly precedented times, we are fully existing in the future. And a futuristic lifestyle calls for a modern approach to our traditional “Follow Friday� column. We at Vulture have pivoted from our Luddite ways, opting for a more interactive digital angle on what was once mere text on a web page. We want you to get to know our favorite up-and-coming comics, writers, and generally funny social-media presences face-to-face (or at least screen-to-screen). So we hope you enjoy our new and improved Instagram Live–based version of “Follow Friday.�

This week, I sat down with beloved youngest son Sebastian Conelli (Loud About Nothing, RaaaatScraps, getting nonstop emails from Dolls Kill) for a chat about New York accents, dried meats, and gym etiquette. He explained his parents’ reasoning for pushing him to get into comedy, gave some excellent advice on navigating the prosciutto area at the Staten Island Costco, and generously allowed me to berate his podcast co-host, Robbie Nunes. He also told a story from his childhood that I actually couldn’t stop laughing at: “I used to cut church a lot, too. Me and my sisters would go, and my mom and dad would go to Costco. And they would give us an envelope with money to put in the basket. And I would force my sisters to leave with me and steal the money. And we’d go get sausage-egg-and-cheeses, bacon-egg-and-cheeses, and go sit on this rock — which is just next to a highway — and we would sit there and eat. And then we’d sneak into the back of the church and sign our names.�

You can find Sebastian on Twitter at @SebConBaby and on Instagram at @sebastianconelli.