Do you want to know what a man in love looks like? Watch Colin Bridgerton stumbling through breakfast with his family choking out the sentence that yes, Penelope is … a good acquaintance … of … the whole … family. My guy’s got it bad! We’re a whole week out from their kiss and he’s still having sexy, sweaty dreams about making out with her? Perhaps even more telling, this dream isn’t just about sex — he’s pouring his heart out to Penelope. He tells her he can’t eat, sleep, breathe because he is thinking about their first kiss. Oh, this man is undone.
The stumbling around these new feelings for his friend doesn’t end at breakfast. Penelope took a week hiding from society and is now ready to brave prying eyes on a little promenade, where she and Colin finally have a post-kiss chat — under the branches of a weeping willow tree no less! Does the semi-clandestine meeting spot make things more suspicious or less? You decide! Colin can’t get his words straight. Penelope, too, is a little awkward knowing the last time they saw one another her mouth was on his mouth, but mostly she came to talk business: They need to stop their lessons. To continue now would embarrass everyone involved to an unbearable extent. She’s quite resolute about it and about continuing her search for a husband.
I love that Pen’s makeover isn’t just about her clothes or make-up, but about her attitude. You can practically see her confidence level rising. The old Penelope, the one forever clinging to the walls of the room, would never show her face in society again after what happened. But here she is, braving the ton in order to get what she wants. She’s becoming more levelheaded, too (which might come back to bite her in the ass, but still). Can you imagine last season’s Penelope kissing the man of her dreams and then being this chill about it? Sticking to her “it doesn’t mean anything†story? Never. Both of our leads are going through some much-needed internal changes. You need to know who you are and love who you are before you can really love someone else, and it feels like we’re getting shades of that process with both of our leads.
Even if Colin was at all ready to broach the subject of his feelings for Penelope, she has really shut down all possibility of that. And so, Colin spends the rest of the episode at various events, left to watch her as she moves further and further away from him. At a low-key soirée, he looks on as she has a very promising conversation with Lord Debling. It turns out, Colin’s lessons have worked: The moment Pen doesn’t care about her interactions with potential suitors, believing not a single one to be interested in her anymore, she is fully herself. It’s her frankness that catches Debling’s eye. Debling could be considered the catch of the season, except for his one fatal flaw: He’s a vegetarian. Actually, he’s a naturalist and a vegetarian. Disgusting, I know. The ton is up in arms about it. Apparently the only thing worse than being a Vegetable King in Mayfair is being a spinster.
Pen is over the moon about Debling — so much so that she corrals Colin into a sweets tent at the big hot air balloon exhibition, again, as if people don’t have eyes and can’t see them standing together, to tell him all about it. Debling is kind, he likes her for who she is, plus he’s not so bad to look at. While she doesn’t say this to Colin, another appealing aspect of the guy is the fact that he’ll be out on his nature expeditions so often that she’ll have more than enough privacy to continue Whistledown. The panic visibly sets in for Colin, but it’s not like Penelope and Debling are a done deal. There is one other single lady desperate for a husband this season: Cressida Cowper.
Cressida’s parents are relentless about their daughter securing a husband this season — also her third — otherwise they will be arranging a marriage for her. Maybe they should start with her toning down her outfits? I’ve never understood that for someone who acts like a queen bee, for someone who tears down others so easily, and someone with such controlling parents, how she’s just out and about in these insane gowns. At one point in this episode she’s wearing a corset around her neck? Anyway, Cress is all over Debling. She even has Eloise prep her with some nature books so she can seem interested in his hobby. The conversation at the Hawkins Balloon event between Debling, Cressida, Eloise, and Penelope is a delight. From Eloise looking like she might actually gouge her eyes out with her own thumbs to Penelope, flustered that she might lose Debling, blurting out “I love birds,†this is art. Forced into a husband battle with Cressida, Penelope forgets that being herself is what intrigued Debling in the first place and she is an absolute disaster here. Did you guys know, she loves grass?
It looks as though Cressida has won this round for Debling’s hand — until that giant hot air balloon gets loose and looks as though it’s headed right toward Penelope, frozen in fear. It’s actually Colin who rushes to pull it back, getting a bunch of the men to assist, but you know Pen is only thinking about how Debling slides in to shield her when she falls right in front of the balloon basket. Quite the hot move for a man who only eats vegetables. Cressida does feign her own injury to get Debling’s attention, but it seems like this husband battle is a dead heat going into that evening’s Innovations Ball.
So much goes down at this Innovations Ball, so buckle up. The reason being: Colin’s not the only Bridgerton grappling with some major sparks. In fact, not one but three other family members are starting to feel hot and bothered by some new faces. As the old saying goes, the family that gets hot and bothered together, stays together.
First up, there’s Francesca. God bless her, she remains just as unenthused about finding a match now as the Queen’s diamond as she did prior. She’s ready to hear who the Queen has in mind for her and accept him. She’s no frills, baby! Violet hates this. Queen Charlotte presents Francesca with a marquis from Vienna. He seems cool until during their first one-on-one chat he proudly announces that he wants eight kids. Can you imagine if a man said this to you on a first date? Nice to meet you, I want to totally destroy your vagina and not in the good way? Hard pass. Realizing they have absolutely nothing in common, Francesca steps outside for her two favorite things: peace and quiet. And what do you know? A very handsome stranger sidles up to her, telling her that he, too, was seeking a moment of quiet and he asks if they “can enjoy the silence together.†He doesn’t say anything else! He just wants to stand with her. This is romance, people! Fran runs off not long after because she is afraid of actually feeling something, but the way she looks back to take him in as she goes tells me she might not remain so unenthused about marriage.
Then there’s Benedict. We haven’t had much reason to chat about No. 2 yet, but he remains pretty aimless and lost since giving up his art last season. He’s actually enjoyed filling in for Anthony and taking care of the estate because it gives him purpose, but that is only temporary. Otherwise, he’s mostly been hiding from all the mamas trying to get him interested in their daughters. But it seems as though Benedict might be tied up for the rest of the season — possibly literally? At the hot air balloon event, he bumps into a woman giving all the men denouncing the balloon as ridiculous a piece of her mind. New ideas are good! This man is an innovator! She is not afraid to speak her mind, and ol’ Benny boy likes that.
He likes it so much that he tracks her down at the Innovations Ball to formally introduce himself. She is Lady Tilley Arnold. Her husband died a few years ago, but she is not looking to get remarried — so he doesn’t need to fear her trying to get him to court her. “I’m not afraid of you,†he tells her. “That is a mistake,†she replies before they take to the dance floor. This dance is so horny, there’s no way these two wouldn’t be the talk of Mayfair the next day. Alas, something else goes down at the ball that steals this would-be scandal’s thunder.
But first: Who is the third Bridgerton to get a meet-cute in this episode? Why, it’s our matriarch, Violet. If you watched Queen Charlotte, you know that Violet decided to let her garden be in bloom, etc. She’s open to love, should it find its way to her once again. Outside of the ball, a very handsome man picks up her glove when she drops it on the ground and there are immediate sparks. When this man comes to chat with her inside, she not only realizes that between losing their spouses and being parents, they have a lot to chat about, but also that he makes her nervous (in the best way). But there is a twist: This man turns out to be none other than the visitor Lady Danbury had been anxious about — he’s her brother, Marcus Anderson. And she is not a fan. Oh, this should be so fun.
Violet possibly getting a love story is a welcome development. Ruth Gemmell is such an underrated MVP of this series. One of my favorite parts of the first two seasons has been her scenes with the main Bridgerton of each story. They’re always knockouts. Violet relates to each of her children in a different way and those one-on-ones feel integral to everyone’s arc. That tradition, thankfully, has been carried over into season three.
Let’s be real: Colin is a fucking mess at this Innovations Ball. He is swarmed by almost every single woman at this thing, swooning over his heroics with the balloon, and yet all he can do is watch what Penelope is doing. It would almost be creepy if it weren’t romantic as hell to see this man be so unraveled by love. Penelope’s smart, and so when she finds a moment in which Debling isn’t hanging out with Cressida, she approaches him and apologizes for being kind of the worst earlier. She was trying to be someone she isn’t, and she should’ve been honest with him. She’s an indoor cat, she tells him. She’s surprised to find he kind of loves that. Debling doesn’t want to marry someone who is exactly like him — how boring. And babes, Pen and Debling are so back on.
As Colin watches all of this go down in horror, he bumps into his mother. He pretends to be asking her about Francesca and her search for a match, but we know he’s trying to process what’s happening here. He asks his mother if she really believes friendship is the best foundation for love. She does — she and Edmund were friends first. But, she warns, it’s so rare not only to find such a friendship but for both people to feel the same way about each other. “How did you know it was reciprocated?†he asks her. “Because he gathered the courage to ask,†she responds, tracing his eyeline to see that he can’t take his eyes off of Penelope. In that split second, Violet knows exactly what is going on here. So when Colin pivots back to Francesca, and says that he hopes she would “be brave enough to ask the question†should that happen, Violet’s words might be “I hope she is as well†but her eyes are screaming BE BRAVE, COLIN. Go get ya girl, son!
For a moment, it seems like he just might be brave enough to go for it. Unfortunately, when he approaches Pen, he looks like he might just barf all over her. He attempts to gather himself and tells her he needs to ask her something and suddenly the moment is so charged. You can see it cross Penelope’s face that he is looking at her as if, maybe he might confess something, he’s looking at her the way he did when he kissed her. But just as clear, you see the moment she reminds herself that Colin Bridgerton would never, ever be interested in her and she tries to shake it off. This is exactly when Debling arrives to whisk her off to the dance floor. For a moment, she hesitates, waiting for Colin to say anything. But he does not. She takes Debling’s hand and all Colin can do is watch as Penelope lights up the room. She looks so happy. As everyone looks at this new pairing on the dance floor, Violet tries to get a glimpse of her son’s face, knowing this must be crushing him. And it is — holy hell, is it crushing him. He’s holding back tears. Colin was not brave enough to ask the question tonight, but he better get braver, fast. The clock is ticking.
Ink Stains
• Wanna talk about heartbreak? How about that scene when Eloise goes to apologize to Penelope for letting it slip about her arrangement with Colin? Eloise is nowhere near close ready to forgive Pen, but she clearly still cares for her. The women are almost in tears as so much is left unsaid. You can see that all Pen wants to do is seek comfort in her friend and it is still impossible. It is devastating!!
• Oop, looks like Philipa might be pregnant. Is she the one to win the Great Featherington Baby Race of 1815?
• Portia Featherington is divisive, but I think that’s what makes her a delight. When our hot air balloonist/engineer approaches her at the ball and asks if she’d like to check out Humphry Davy’s invention called “a lamp,†her immediate and firm “no†is a gift to behold.
• The Mondriches’ “free to do as we please†phase is short-lived. When Will spends the night working at his club instead of attending a ball, another titled man tells him that if he’s going to be part of society, there’s no way he can continue to work. He’ll have to give up the club. “Everything has its limits,†he tells Will about the freedom of nobility. At least Alice’s new wardrobe is killing it.
• I’m happy to see Cressida get more character development, and it’s easy to empathize with her now that we know a little more about her parents, but please do not attempt to make her some sort of person to root for. This woman has openly tormented Penelope for years!
• Bravo on the choice to use an instrumental of Billie Eilish’s gut-punch of a song “Happier Than Ever†for the soul-crushing Pen/Debling dance at the end of the episode. Sure, we’re watching Colin’s heart shatter, but some of the lyrics of this song are so Penelope to Colin: “you were my everything/ And all that you did was make me fucking sad/ So don’t waste the time I don’t have /And don’t try to make me feel bad.†Did Colin miss his chance? (I mean, obviously not, but he will have to do more convincing to win Pen’s heart than he may have expected.)