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Comments: Week of July 15, 2024

1.

“Hush-Hush Affair,” July 1–14

For New York’s latest cover story, Reeves Wiedeman investigated the spread of nondisclosure agreements from the boardroom to the bedroom. “As an attorney who reviews NDAs nearly every day, I ­never imagined NY Mag would make a cover story about them,” wrote girl.who.is.going.to.be.ok. “I feel seen!” The litigator ­Daniel A. Horwitz called it “a great piece on the comical metastasization of NDAs … We don’t talk enough about NDAs’ ­constitutionally dubious enforcement ­mechanisms (like requiring courts to issue prior restraints) or the fact that they often violate the rights of non-parties.” ­Susan ­MacRae, whose unsuccessful attempt to ­invalidate an NDA relating to her father’s sexual abuse was mentioned in the article, offered thanks for “shedding light on the pervasiveness of Nondisclosure Agreements for all types of abuses. It’s very important that the public knows about the misuse of NDAs, especially in cases of child abuse.” Chiropractor Charlie ­Franchino wrote, “I never sign NDA’s as I am liable both criminally and civilly by privacy laws for ­releasing any information. They’re ­redundant. Plus I don’t want some document haunting me for the rest of my life. The only patients who ­refuse to see me because I won’t sign are low level celebrities, sometimes with great indignity and in a couple of cases, threats of lawsuits. Any patient who does that is promptly shown the door.” Jason Haber, a real-estate agent an­d author of The Business of Good, added, “To a large extent the problem with NDA’s is when one party signs them (­usually in exchange for a payment) but the other side is free to talk. This is what happened at the National Association of ­Realtors. One party was free to defend himself in the public square while women who were being called liars were unable to speak.” Journalist Andrew Eastmond said, “This is a deeply weird statement about our society. In the workplace, or in your own personal relationships, treat people the right way and you won’t have to worry about or use an NDA. Transparency wins every time.”

2.

“My ‘­Difficult Character’ ”

In the same issue, Mary H.K. Choi ­reflected on how her adult diagnosis of autism changed her sense of self. Tony Gervino called it “a deeply personal, impeccably written and paced essay (of course) about unlocking her own mysteries. No one else commands language like she does, no ­hyperbole.” Many readers identified with Choi’s journey. Commented nataliebarrett, “I cried, I cried, and I cried some more. Your words resonate in my heart. I am ­living your experience.” On Instagram, Charlotte Stein said her own diagnosis came at 35: “It ­explained so much I had agonized over my entire life. I was able to use new tools to ­exist and threw out the ­useless ones I beat myself up for ‘not getting them to work like other people’s tools.’ ” Readers who couldn’t ­relate personally also weighed in. “I am neurotypical/not autistic. I read a lot about autism. This stunning ­essay might be the very best commentary on autism/ASD I have ever read. It is so well written and simultaneously wide and deep ­ranging,” said poet Michele Madigan Somerville. Back on Instagram, Amy ­Giampetroni said, “My heart hurts for her to think of all the mental work it took for the entirety of her life to participate in, well, LIFE. So much of it is relatable. ­Kudos to her for putting ego aside and ­seeking the testing that led to the ASD ­diagnosis.” Others had questions. @­msdarcylane asked, “Aren’t people just all different?! Everyone’s brains different? ­Everyone just find what works for them. Why does everyone need a diagnosis these days?” @­whatbuck countered, “There’s ­variety, then there’s a fundamentally ­different way for the brain to function. Even brain scans confirm it. Spending most of your life wondering what’s wrong with you and being treated as ‘bad’ or ‘lesser than’ in ways you can’t help is ­fundamentally traumatizing.” Jon ­Michael West said, “A diagnosis is not an ­excuse … The dx opens the door to strategies and a plan of treatment with the ultimate goal of ­becoming a functioning individual that is no longer isolated by the signs and symptoms of their diagnosed condition.” Commenter freddie wrote, “You can understand, I hope, why so many family members of and ­advocates for ­severely autistic people —­ nonverbal, unable to control their bathroom functions, repetitively self-­injuring, given to bouts of ­violence — might be so frustrated with this conversation. They’ve simply been written out of existence, and in their place are ­upwardly ­mobile members of the ­educated caste.”

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Comments: Week of July 15, 2024