What Even Happened on Emily in Paris Season 3?

I’ll never understand how it took the ENTIRE SEASON for these two to break up. Photo: STÉPHANIE BRANCHU/NETFLIX

It has been a year and a half since we followed Emily Cooper as she traipsed about Paris, making ill-advised personal, professional, and sartorial decisions. Much has transpired in the real world since then — especially in Paris — so I forgive you, as I forgive myself, if you’ve lost track of where we left Emily and her comrades. As your Emily in Paris recapper, I am here to bring you up to speed on Emily, her friends and enemies, and all the key events of season three that I believe you’ll want to have top of mind in order to appreciate what’s coming in season four. (For the in-depth review, of course, you can revisit my recaps.) All together now!

Say bonjour to Emily! She is having a breakdown.

That’s where season three started, by the way. Just a light menty b to kick things off! Then again, a person could argue that Emily is never not having a breakdown. I’ve wondered before, and surely will wonder again, if this whole series is some hallucination, and the finale will show Emily waking up in a hospital bed, explaining the blunt-head trauma that must have precipitated all that we have witnessed. (Framed poster of the Eiffel Tower that she hung up in her dorm room falling on her while she was sleeping?)

As I was saying, Emily began season three torn asunder between her two loyalties: to Madeline, to Chicago, to that Human Plot Device of a boyfriend we all forgot about, and to Sylvie, to Paris, to the life she is trying to build for herself in her new city. She handles this as any reasonable adult would: by keeping two jobs without telling either boss about the other, assuming everything will all work out. Instead, she ends up without any job at all. Also, as a stress response, she cuts her own bangs.

RIP Savoir, long live Agence Grateau.

Sylvie, forced out of Savoir by Madeline and her oppressive, corporate, American tendencies, starts her own splinter agency, which is eventually named Agence Grateau. The Gilbert Group and Madeline suspended their Paris operations, so Savoir is no more. It’s hilarious to me that all Madeline did all season was show up in Paris, torpedo their whole office, and then return to the United States without Emily.

Much like other plot developments in this series, a lot seems to happen with the end of Savoir and the beginning of Agence Grateau, but then basically everything is the same: After a brief exile, they return to their original offices; after much ado about Emily, she returns to Sylvie’s employ; after a frenzy over whether or not the clients would stick it out with them, they retain virtually their entire roster and seem to have no trouble acquiring new business.

As for the show’s true heroine, Sylvie …

Sylvie starts the season with a hot photographer boyfriend, Erik. But as you may recall, she is still technically married to her hot restaurateur/bar-owner husband, Laurent. Laurent sometimes spends the night at Sylvie’s place, which Erik does not like, so Sylvie is basically like … okay, bye! The ease with which Sylvie, and by extension the show, ditches Erik for Laurent is frankly inspiring. No grass grows under her feet!

Meet the gents of JVMA.

There are some new men to keep track of here: Nicolas de Léon, a paramour for Mindy, is the son of Louis de Léon, head of JVMA (the LVMH of Emily in Paris). When she was a young up-and-comer, Sylvie worked under Louis at JVMA, where Louis engaged in some as-yet-defined sexual misconduct. Sylvie uses this leverage to her business advantage, but she does not tell Laurent, her husband, what happened, which means Laurent has no idea what nightmare scenario he’s putting her in when he gets into business with Louis to open his new yacht club in Paris.

As for Nicolas, he went to a Swiss boarding school with Mindy, where she dealt drugs out of her dorm, and he was the school heartthrob. Quick question: Why aren’t we watching THAT show?! (Also, the actor-model who plays Nicolas, Paul Forman, is dating Ashley Park.) Though Mindy starts the season dating her bandmate, Benoit, they break up because he’s jealous of the attention she receives from Nicolas and also because she sells their song for a sunscreen commercial. (Even though later he says the only reason he was upset about that is because he wanted to submit the song for Eurovision, which he does. Why he prioritizes “preserving the Eurovision surprise� over “saving the relationship� is beyond me, but it does make him fit right in, decision-making wise, with Emily and her crew.) Mindy and Nicolas become a couple, which is all well and good until, after a few business conflicts, Nicolas decides Emily is his sworn nemesis.

Meanwhile, Mindy is singing at a jazz club.

I mean, sure! Her performances never make sense or have anything to do with the show’s plot; they are often in English for reasons that are unclear. When the nightclub switches to full burlesque, Mindy — in an extremely out-of-character move that never really tracks for me — decides that’s a step too far and quits.

In other employment news.

Julien is growing tired of Emily swooping in and stealing his clients like “a tiny vulture in a crop top.� And JVMA is courting him. It seems like he’s not long for Agence Grateau, right?

FINALLY, someone is having a little fun around here. Welcome to the party, Sofia.

Sofia is a hot artist who has the hots for Camille. Camille reciprocates these affections. A more interesting show would allow Camille to openly date Sofia and Gabriel. However, in this show, Camille is having an affair while maintaining a relationship with Gabriel, even though she and Gabriel don’t trust or seem especially interested in each other.

Unfortunately, Camille’s thrilling side quest is undermined by — who else? — Emily, who catches her and Sofia kissing. Literally, everyone tells Emily not to get involved. Miraculously, she has, so far, kept this information to herself. I cannot imagine her making it more than one, two episodes tops, into the new season before she blurts it out to Gabriel.

Just because Emily forgets about him doesn’t mean we must: an Alfie report.

Antoine hires Alfie as CFO, keeping him in Emily’s orbit despite their inevitable breakup. This split takes all season even though, at multiple junctures, I could have sworn they were having relationship-ending conversations, but no, it takes all season. These “they should just break up� moments are all real high-water marks for Emily’s sociopathy/denial and include Alfie confessing that he is reluctant to tell his parents about her because he’s been burned before by women who’ve dumped him shortly after he makes it family official and Emily pressuring him into doing just that and convincing him to go public with her via an ad campaign for AMI wherein they make out in a hot-air balloon. And, predictably, it’s all for naught since Emily is so obviously hung up on Gabriel that they break up immediately after they go more public than any civilian couple has ever gone.

Gabriel’s daddy issues.

Gabriel decides that he needs two things in this life: a Michelin star and a baby. These desires come from virtually nowhere, and his means of expressing them are incredibly off-putting and creepy — at one point, he just starts, like, playing with strangers’ children in a park?? — but such is life on EIP.

So, despite everything, he and Camille get engaged. And, at some indeterminate time after that proposal — long enough for Gabriel’s restaurant to relaunch with a new name but not long enough for Camille’s pregnancy to show — they have an engagement party that turns into a last-minute wedding.

During their vows, Camille blurts out that she knows the only reason they’re together is because she knew Gabriel was in love with Emily. She explains their idiotic pact — the agreement she and Emily had to not to date Gabriel, VERY mature, normal adult behavior. Camille accuses Gabriel and Emily of having always been in love. As you might expect, this also sends Alfie out the door.

Left alone at the end of this catastrophe, Gabriel tells Emily a secret: Camille is pregnant. I was very disappointed in this twist for reasons I detail in the season-finale recap. Namely, this is the SECOND time this show has used “unplanned, surprise pregnancy� as a way to drive the plot (the first being Madeline’s). Can we really not think of anything else that could possibly happen to a woman that might alter the course of her life? Apparently, on Emily in Paris, only two things ever really matter to a girl: having a baby or moving to Paris.