Emily and Alfie snuggle in an improbably pink hotel bed as she tries to get the man she completely blew off to declare that he stayed in Paris to pursue a relationship with her. Personally, if I’d behaved as egregiously as Emily and still got to wake up wrapped in this dude’s arms, I would NOT be asking any questions that might prompt him to self-reflect and reevaluate. Girl, take the win! For reasons unclear (the show will not allow Emily to actually face and live with the consequences of her bad actions for more than ten minutes), Emily and Alfie are in a great place. Her work life, however, is a disaster.
You know what’s not a disaster, for once? Her outfit. The high-waisted pants she wears into the office to meet Madeline look great on her.
This episode is mostly a silly slapstick number wherein Sylvie uses her infinite wisdom and feminine wiles to trick Madeline into vacating the old Savoir offices, because Sylvie can no longer use her apartment as a workplace — everyone is gross and messy; also, her neighbors are basically unionizing against her — and because the show is not going to spring for another set in which Sylvie’s new agency can set up shop. And you know what? Even though we know how this is going to play out, I felt like these high jinks gave our show some real pep in its step. Maybe it was just the thrill of watching someone (Sylvie) actually be competent at something.
Unfortunately, the other plots in this episode leave a lot to be desired: Alfie and Emily still vibe with each other mostly like mannequins who have never met and whose interactions carry none of the things that would obviously still be hanging over them (doubt, insecurity, tension). Gabriel and Camille have the very dull problem of “Gabriel always works late.†Didn’t we learn last season that Camille has a coterie of chic French girlfriends with whom to pass her otherwise empty nights? Why is she always just moping around, by herself, waiting for Emily (their friendship still makes zero sense) and Alfie (Camille barely knows him) to entertain her?
Also, WHY on earth would Camille confide in Emily that she and Gabriel are having any relationship issues? She KNOWS the only thing that kept Emily from openly pursuing Gabriel was their dopey pact! Alfie comes up with the extremely obvious idea of Gabriel just … cooking his girlfriend dinner … at the very restaurant that she resents for monopolizing all of his time?? If anybody’s performance had any texture to it and we could sense that Alfie was doing a little chess-not-checkers thing here — like, he’s not just being a good friend to Camille and Gabriel; he’s actually trying to neutralize the threat he fears Gabriel still poses to his relationship with Emily — I’d be a lot more into this. When he brings Emily by the restaurant just to, like, take credit for having set up the date, and there is no darkness to his reveal whatsoever … Why even show her, then?
But back to everyone’s office woes. At first it’s just a broken elevator, but Emily and Madeline get nowhere with Henri, the building manager, who is friends with Luc and, crucially, smitten with Sylvie. Sylvie, who arrives at the dinner to charm Henri looking like sex itself. The dress! The tousled curls!! The way she gives him a hand squeeze, a grateful sigh, and a lip bite when he tells her he will treat the Americans like pests and smoke them out!!! I would simply die, but Henri lives to fulfill his promises.
Let’s dispense with the Mindy plot: She has a whole side ordeal where she misses performing with Benoit and can only get over her stage fright by having sex with him pre-performance. Then she sings a cover of “Don’t Start Now†while wearing a knockoff Dua Lipa bodysuit in tennis-ball neon green. WHY. First of all, why the hell would she be performing this song, in English, at this jazz club that — as we just learned during an extensive tour of her dressing room — has seen many a jazz legend perform there? Second of all, why did we need to hear her sing the entire song? This scene took so long I spent the whole time waiting for some mortifying wardrobe malfunction that does not happen onstage (Benoit’s fly is down, not worth whatever punch line it was supposed to provide).
And can I just say I think it’s very lame of our show to have all our main characters be pursuing straight monogamous relationships? It’s not very French of anyone to be so conventional! Mindy is a character who could easily step into the Samantha role in Sex and the City, whose stilettos this series clearly wants to teeter in, but instead of letting her be wild and have fun, the show has saddled her with the hopelessly devoted Benoit and given her nothing to do but sing covers of pop songs that bring whatever plot our series manages to get moving to a record-scratching halt.
Back to work: Emily is pitching a pet-food company. Her idea is this filter that lets you put a photo of your pet over your face, which can be animated and — as Emily’s religion requires — shared to social. I’m not sure why she wore suede over-the-knee boots because it is still summer; this ill-advised sartorial choice backfires all the more when Henri puts the heat on. (The heat in summer would be the death of me because I am a weak American … no one tell Sylvie; I yearn for her approval more than anything.) Madeline shows up at the office dressed to go clubbing even though she had a baby three weeks ago (I think?) and already knows she’ll have to schlep up a million flights of stairs. Why would she wear a metallic skintight minidress, tits fully out, and excessively high red heels for this serious Zoom business meeting with corporate? She can blame Henri for the pigeon, but everything else is on her.
After a totally zany and chaotic call with Chicago, Madeline tells the Gilbert Group to break its lease. Point: Sylvie! (Madeline’s astute observation that the office is more space than she and Emily need, even if they ever hire that French president, is one of the first correct business moves we’ve seen her make.) So Emily meets Madeline at her hotel room, which is full of stuffed animals — remember, pregnant women are ridiculous and women with young babies possibly even MORE so, and they cannot be neat even when they reside in hotels with maid services and have full-time child care — and discovers that her boss has booked them both return flights to Chicago. I understand the need for expediency here, but there’s no way Madeline would have booked her own flight, let alone Emily’s; she obviously would have made Emily do it for her. Anyway, the Gilbert Group is suspending operations in Paris. The speed with which Madeline came, saw, conquered, and destroyed this branch of the company is truly something to behold and I’m sure will really pave the way for other working mothers at the Gilbert Group.
Emily finally stands up for herself because the thought of returning to Chicago for a dreaded “360 review,†where she will, I guess, have to pretend Madeline didn’t botch everything, is too much for her poor heart to bear. Again, our show refuses to have anyone even dislike Emily for more than a minute or two, so Madeline — who we have every reason to believe would feel extremely disappointed, angry, and betrayed — wraps Emily in a big hug and wishes her all the best. I swear, if we don’t get a scene of Madeline throwing Emily under the bus in her 360 review …
Questions of real estate still remain, for as Sylvie returns to her office, I am curious how she plans to pay the rent since she has no clients, and as Emily returns to her apartment, I am doubly curious how she expects to keep living there, seeing as I thought it was corporate-provided housing, to which Emily, what with quitting her job and all, is no longer entitled. Will she have to find a new place to live? Will Gabriel insist she can crash on the couch in a totally chill and platonic way? Or will Emily get to keep her apartment as she keeps all things she desires, for this series is but a wish-fulfillment factory for our fair anti-heroine?