overnights

How to Die Alone Finale Recap: Leap of Faith

How to Die Alone

Kill Your Darlings / Get Lost
Season 1 Episodes 7 - 8
Editor’s Rating 5 stars

How to Die Alone

Kill Your Darlings / Get Lost
Season 1 Episodes 7 - 8
Editor’s Rating 5 stars
Photo: John Medland/Hulu

In the final two episodes of How to Die Alone’s first season, Melissa jumps into the deep end, and Natasha Rothwell proves herself to be a multi-hyphenate, showcasing her range as an actress in ways we haven’t seen before. If The White Lotus gave us a taste of how talented Rothwell is across multiple genres, her performance in these episodes is a three-course meal. We’re already familiar with her impeccable comedic chops — Melissa’s practice monologue in the van leading up to her confrontation with Alex was too good — and sharp writing, but she pulls on our heartstrings in How to Die Alone (did anyone else tear up as she took flight for the first time?), delivering an impressive first season with abundant potential for a second.

After deciding to tell Alex her true feelings before the wedding, episode seven picks up with Melissa journeying to the airport to catch him before his flight to Maui. She arrives too late, rolling up to his gate after hijacking one of the electric carts to see the flight is finished boarding and preparing for takeoff. Defeated, she goes to the Thai restaurant where she once worked. At first, the choice to return to her comfort zone seemed like the ultimate form of regression. However, as the night goes on, the show reminds us that sometimes, outgrowing yourself and bearing witness to the discomfort it brings is a necessary part of evolution. The Melissa who shows up at the Thai restaurant on New Year’s Eve is light years ahead of the old Melissa, but she has to see how far she’s come for herself to fully believe it, which means there are a few more lessons along the journey to self-realization.

The first dragon to slay on the way to Melissa’s true rebirth is perhaps the biggest of all: Alex (and crab rangoon). While her near-death experience was the true impetus for her transformation, Melissa’s suppressed feelings for the man she could never fully open up to despite deeply loving have been the vehicle for her motivation to face her fear of flight. When Melissa sees him picking up takeout, she reluctantly invites him to join her meal after briefly trying to hide under the table. Everything is laid out as if it were divine intervention: Alex explains how he missed his flight because he forgot his bag, his order is still the one Melissa taught him, and his words drip with affection. He notices her missing crab rangoon and prompts her to get back on the proverbial horse by trying some of his. Every word they exchange is heavy with possible double meanings, with the appetizer seemingly serving as a stand-in for Alex. (“Anything that good deserves another chance†was practically an invitation if you ask me!)

Melissa finally takes a bite of the crispy dumpling, opening the door to reconnecting with Alex. Soon, she apologizes for how harsh she was when breaking things off, admitting it was cruel to react in such a way after he professed his love. Alex confesses that he purposely missed his flight and discloses some of his issues with his fiance, Julie, including the fact that she wants him to wear a sea-foam green tie and that Julie’s cousins want to treat her to a pre-wedding girl’s trip despite already having a bachelorette party. Melissa tells him she understands needing to pause and suggests a night out together. But before we fully dive into their escapades, let’s get into how inappropriate Alex’s behavior is. I would be furious if my fiance were frolicking around the city with his ex, giving each other googly eyes, THE DAY BEFORE our nuptials. And, if it’s between a seafoam tie and wearing a turtle neck for a tropical destination wedding, as Alex said was his dream, it’s clear Alex is the problem in this equation. I see why Julie needs two bachelorette parties to deal with his ass.

As they walk outside, Melissa charms a shop owner into letting them browse their tie selection to find a more suitable option than sea-foam green (she let him know the turtleneck was unacceptable). She flirtatiously fastens a royal purple tie around his neck, with the owner assuming she’s the bride he’s about to wed. Their next stop is a karaoke bar where Melissa is adamant to show Alex how outgoing she is with a public performance. She lets her adrenaline take over, skipping ahead the line by taking someone else’s slot and getting Alex to sing Leave the Door Open with her as the show cheekily opens the door to a magical rom-com world where time stops as they romp around New York City. With everyone else in the frames frozen, Melissa and Alex make their way to the park, surrounded by twinkling lights still strung on the trees for the holiday season.

At the park, Melissa points out that there aren’t any fireworks yet for New Year’s Eve, which coincidentally is the same thought I had about her chemistry with Alex. Though he tenderly helps her across the frozen pond for a closer view of the fireworks and reminisces about the intimacy of taking her braids out (again, highly inappropriate behavior for someone becoming a husband in twenty-four hours), Alex doesn’t feel the sparks either when she pulls him in for a kiss. The kiss angers Alex, and he storms away when she blurts out that she still has feelings for him. As he tries to get a taxi, Melissa begs him not to get married, but when Alex asks her to put her heart on the line and outright say that she loves him, Melissa can’t do it, stating she’s too scared. But I wonder if her inability to say those words was not entirely fueled by her fear of rejection. Perhaps, somewhere deep in Melissa’s subconscious, she really doesn’t love Alex. Instead, he’s a manifestation of all the opportunities she lost due to inaction. Now that she’s ready to fly — literally and figuratively — she’s outgrown him, though it takes another divine intervention for her to realize it.

The season finale opens with Melissa anxiously waiting to board the plane to Maui despite Alex’s rejection. She makes up with Rory, who also questions if Melissa truly loves Alex, but she’s determined to fly. However, the flight is overbooked, and the airline offers a thousand-dollar voucher for a passenger to take a delayed trip. As the airline ups the voucher’s value to three thousand dollars, Melissa considers it the universe gifting her a direct out from the embarrassment of showing up at the wedding. The flight attendant questions if she wants to trade her first-class ticket (she was running up Elise’s credit card!) for egregious layovers and a seat in coach, but when Melissa explains she’s trying to prevent herself from going to the wedding of a man she wishes she was marrying herself, the attendant is more than happy to make the transfer. Now, Melissa has a travel route that takes her to four stops across the country, ensuring she won’t make it to Maui for at least 48 hours.

With her stack of plane tickets in hand, Melissa is ready to embark on not one flight but four, a far cry from the Melissa who sat scared on the tarmac as she watched other people live their lives. As she makes her way to the plane, she sees her old self smoking outside while leaning on a baggage cart, bringing her vision from the first episode to life. She boards a middle seat between an old married couple, who make her comfortable as they settle in and take off. Shortly after, the plane experiences turbulence, and Melissa freaks out, with a flight attendant’s unhinged facial expressions exacerbating her fear. It turns out that the aircraft hit a couple of birds, and, as much a more capable-looking flight attendant says, the other attendant just has “resting scared face†from getting discounted Botox. This flight attendant hands Melissa first-time flyer wings to pin on her shirt, congratulating her for making it through a rough patch to the other side.

After Melissa safely lands in Charlotte, making it through her worst fear galvanizes her to keep going. Melissa calls Terrance, explaining that she’s not at the wedding, as she decided that if she’s going to take her first flight, she shouldn’t take it to the past. Alternatively, Melissa changes the next ticket to Chicago, visiting the restaurant Elise stands in front of in a photograph. There, she meets the owner, who turns out to be one of Elise’s past lovers, and they celebrate Elise’s fiery personality. Melissa admits to stealing Elise’s money, but in exchange for the old picture, he promises to forget about the fraud and advises her to live life in a way that would make Elise proud. She takes his counsel and runs with it, turning her stop in Chicago into the solo trip of a lifetime, culminating in a wintertime plunge in Lake Michigan.

On her way back to JFK, Melissa runs into Angie, a fellow airport cart driver at O’Hare. Dreaming of a way to change her life but too scared to apply for the management training program, Angie is a facsimile of Melissa from a few months ago. Melissa imparts her newfound wisdom to Angie, and when she boards her flight back home, she gets an email from the Swedish furniture company confirming a $17,000 settlement due to her incident with the wardrobe. She leaves a message with Brian about the settlement, saying he has one less kid to take care of, ending with a joke about any hypothetical stray kids he may have from his cheating exploits … and Brian plays this message on speakerphone in front of his wife. Yup, right as it seems like everything is wrapping up, tying a touching bow on top of a witty, feel-good season, How to Die Alone throws us a few curve balls. On top of possibly ruining her brother’s marriage, security tackles her when Melissa lands at JFK and begins to run into Terrance’s arms. This time, it’s not because she triggered the metal detector and is unrecognizable to her coworkers — they know exactly who she is. Police officers swiftly handcuff Melissa, stating she’s under arrest for forgery, identity theft, and grand larceny. It looks like our girl has a couple more hurdles to jump.

How to Die Alone Finale Recap: Leap of Faith