Rumor has it that Luca “People, kiss!†Guadagnino is being “courted†by Warner Bros. to make a film in the James Gunn DCU. The Insneider is the one spreading that goss, but we’re more than happy to run with it. Does it feel likely? Not especially. Would it be a good idea? Not remotely. But do we like the idea? Kinda! Not because every director needs to get absorbed by the IP monster currently running Hollywood, but because it’s time for a deeply horny comic book movie. The MCU is notoriously sexless, and Guadagnino joining the other team could be a major course correction. So here are some queer, sexually fraught, or otherwise freaky DC supes that could use the Luca touch.
Teen Titans
We’ll have to age them up to the Young Justice era, but bicon Tim Drake never gets his due in Batfam films. Timmy Chalamet would eat in that role. Every iteration of the Teen Titans includes love triangles, and it’s time for a mmf one. Plus, role of a lifetime for whoever they get to play Terra.
Nightwing
Or we could do Dick Grayson again. It would be remiss to leave the most caked-up superhero off this list. But there’s lots of problematic stuff in his history that would make this less pleasant than a Titans/Young Justice movie.
Wonder Woman
Look, I know we just did Wonder Woman, but the Gal Gadot movies never really acknowledged the character’s fetish content roots. Bondage! Thirds! Lesbian separatism! It’s all in the text. Less 1984, more Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, we say.
Martian Manhunter
I just think the …implications of his shapeshifting powers haven’t been fully explored, so to speak.
The Question
Original Question, Vic Sage, is practically asexual. The only thing he’s horny for is conspiracy theories. But his protegée Renee Montoya is a lesbian, an ex-cop, and looks cool in a suit.
Blue Beetle/Booster Gold
Make it canon, cowards.