For better and definitely not for worse, we have gotten past the monstrosity that was Tea’s wedding, which has eclipsed many of this season’s storylines. Let’s be real: Tea’s presence was not merely an elephant in the room but an elephant that was being aggressively forced on us, with everyone constantly pointing it out for one too many episodes. The cast feels eager to move on from the nuptials as well, ready to get back to business as usual with full-cast outings, shade-filled kikis, and outlandish fights in the name of sisterhood. But to reassemble the dream team, some much-needed conversations are in order, as Tea’s integration has effectively put a pin in the unresolved drama from last season.
Toya has been the most vocal about her disdain for Quad; last season was particularly rough between the two women when Quad intimated that Toya was behind the home invasion of ex-cast member Anila. On top of that, she assisted in spreading a rumor that Toya cheated on her husband with one of her neighbors because she was dissatisfied with Euegene’s penis size. In tonight’s episode, Toya says the latter was “going lower†than the former, which she has every right to feel. But personally, I’m the most appalled at Quad perpetuating such a harmful accusation on a show dedicated to honoring Black women and health-care professionals. Eugene is a successful Black physician with two little Black boys; his family should not at all be associated with organizing robberies just because his wife’s castmate doesn’t like her. As I wrote last season, Married to Medicine has always been rife with shade and drama, but accusing someone of a felony is too much.
Ultimately, Anila said no when Andy asked point blank if she truly believed Toya was involved, though her “No†sounded a lot like it had a question mark, or at least an ellipses, at the end of it. Despite Anila eventually doing the famous Bravo Back Pedal, the damage was already done, and without an apology or sit-down conversation, Toya has been simmering on Quad’s misdeeds for months. It speaks to the bigger issue with Quad that all of the ladies have brought up at least once — Quad hates to apologize and loves to go MIA, which is a terrible combination in friendships, especially on a show built on authentic, off-camera relationships. When the cameras are up, she fights to win, playing dirty when she feels she has to. Once the cameras go down, she disappears, as if a reunion with Andy Cohen is truly a way to tie up loose ends (we’ve seen enough season premieres to know that isn’t at all the case). Simone and Jackie’s main grievance with Quad is that they’re unable to bond with her because she doesn’t let the women in when she’s upset or when she upsets them. And there have been many snide comments from everyone about Quad going “Hollywood†and letting the exposure from the show get to her head, thinking she’s better than her castmates.
For a while, it seemed like Quad was ready to be done with the show once and for all until LaTeasha weaseled her way onto the cast. Miss Quad could never be replaced or outdone, so she started filming, determined to maintain her spot on the show. But Quad needs an ally, and since clearly it won’t be Toya, and historically, she’s never been a favorite with the OB/GYNs, she turns to her old pal Heavenly to create a bridge back into the group. Phaedra brokers this armistice, as she’s the strongest link Quad has on the cast, though she’s not tenured enough to be the sole person on Quad’s side. Heavenly arrives in all white, perhaps hinting at a white flag of surrender, and sits with Quad and Phaedra. It’s not hard for the two to make amends; in her confessional, Heavenly states that she does give Quad a lot of passes, and they fight like sisters, constantly breaking up and making up, so she’s willing to give her another chance.
After dishing shade about Tea’s wedding for Quad (those drapes were indeed very wrinkly. They couldn’t afford a steamer after that extra $14,000?), Quad opens up about her feelings about Heavenly befriending Tea. Heavenly says she took Quad’s silence as her not caring but apologizes for hurting her feelings. Then, she looks to Quad to apologize for her disappearing act, asking for her to take some accountability for the demise of her relationship with the women. Thankfully, Heavenly is a pro at pulling teeth and manages to extract a monotone “I could’ve reached out to them, and I could’ve probably done better†from Quad. They leave on a positive note, but Phaedra has another step in her plan to revive Quad’s place within the group properly.
Taking a page out of the ridiculous invitation playbook, which includes sending mimes and people dressed as dominatrixes to deliver invites, Phaedra enlists her startling handsome assistant Benji to summon the women to what she’s calling “She Has Risen,†an event based on “resurrection and rebirth.†Benji arrives at each lady’s house dressed in a black leather suit and black sunglasses that look like they’re straight from Angie K.’s closet. Holding a suitcase, Benji uses his best Secret Service voice to invite the women while Phaedra sits in the car watching her friends’ perplexed reactions. Inside the suitcase is a church fan with the invitation printed on it, requesting their attendance at an all-black affair … in the middle of the night … at a funeral home.
During a spa night with Simone and Toya, Tea realizes that she wasn’t on the guest list for the event. Simone speculates that it must be centered around Quad if Tea wasn’t invited. However, this leaves Toya confused as to why Phaedra invited her after she was so adamant about wanting nothing to do with Quad, and she takes it upon herself to help Tea crash the party. Peaking behind the fourth wall, I suspect Toya was relieved when she thought Quad wasn’t filming and ecstatic at the possibility of Greg’s new bride taking her place. But since icing Quad out from the group was unsuccessful, Toya is insistent on bringing Tea, essentially putting the elephant in the room on a leash and parading it around Quad. So, Tea hops in the car with Simone and Toya as they head to Willie A. Watkins Funeral Home, which RHOA fans are familiar with after watching Phaedra collaborate with them on her mortuary endeavors.
She Has Risen is a funeral-themed event concocted around Quad’s claim that the women left her for dead. Phaedra has the women sit in the pews as she walks down the aisle with two random men to organ music, wearing what Jackie calls a black wedding gown. She takes to the podium, first calling out that Tea wasn’t invited, then saying a whole bunch of nothing about phoenixes rising (plus taking a shot at Toya by calling her a “tennis expertâ€). Then the random men return, this time as pallbearers, theatrically bringing in a white coffin that Quad has folded herself into to make a point. The women collectively roll their eyes as the pallbearers suspensefully open the coffin, and Quad leaps out with a rehearsed one-liner before diving into one of her infamous monologues with the same vocal affect as a preacher, proclaiming that this is a funeral where they will bury “the pettiness, turmoil, and strife among this group.†But her castmates are immune to this particular attempt at charisma and are unmoved as there is still a lack of accountability, disappointing even Phaedra, who is severely allergic to accountability.
Quad pleads her case in front of the women but still dodges answering any questions directly or offering a genuine apology. Sweeping things under the rug, she ushers everyone into the next room for a repass meal. The flimsy bow Quad tied on top of the tension falls apart before they can finish their hot water cornbread. Tea finally tries to reprimand Phaedra for bringing Quad to the engagement party, but no one cares anymore, and the spotlight returns to more important matters. When asked to apologize to Toya, Quad plays coy and says she has no idea what she should be sorry for. Toya puts it all on the table, and instead of an apology, Quad brings up a rumor Toya repeated about Quad sleeping with her contractor. It gets heated before Simone is able to rein it in — until Quad declares she has more to say at the next meeting, prompting another round of eye rolls. This conversation is anything but dead.
Doctor’s Orders
• Unpopular opinion, but I still think Quad would be a good candidate for RHOA. It’s clear that she wants to be able to be chaotically messy during filming and left alone in the off-season; this is a formula for disaster on M2M, but it’s in the rulebook for Housewives, and RHOA desperately needs a shake-up.
• The hands-down funniest part of this episode was when Toya jokingly said that Mariah would be in the coffin, too.
• Da Brat is one of Dr. Jackie’s most entertaining patients. I love how Jackie touched on how intrinsic bias during maternal care isn’t the only thing killing Black women, but the physiological toll of systemic racism is the cause of the increased risk of health complications to the point where it’s considered a public-health crisis.