It’s the most blunderful time of the year! No, it’s not a messy Christmas; it is RHONJ Charity Softball Tournament Day. I love an annual event, especially on Bravo. Think about the Vanderpump Rules crew at Pride, the RHONY women going to the Berkshires, and a Kyle Richards white party, which we haven’t had since 2020, probably for a good reason. I’m just happy that Dolores’s game is back because it’s the one time of the year that everyone gets together, has a good time, and knows to be on their best, non-fighting behavior.
You have to give it to Dolores. Last year, the game raised $180,000 for the breast-cancer ward at Brooklyn’s Maimonides Medical Health Center. This year it raised $200,000, the extra $20K probably coming from the sale of the Hot Husband’s Calendar, of which I would have bought 20 on the day of the event if I could have attended. I wish that Bravo would make this an even bigger thing. The game is in Coney Island, which is in New York City — can’t we get a RHONJ vs. RHONY special? Can’t we get Andy Cohen to throw out the first pitch? Can we get the gay shark to show up as a mascot? Get the whole thing sponsored by Budweiser Rose or some shit, and stream it live on Bravo and ESPN. This could be huge!
As fun as the game was, the episode is strangely put together. We know that the big event is going to be the game, so there were a lot of the women getting together and talking about what might happen at the game, then there were Melissa, Rachel, and Frank Sr. (he is officially the first male cast member of a Housewives franchise at this point) and their respective partners going to Humdingers to practice for the event. This could have been a softball bottle episode, but then it was bracketed by these two therapy sessions, Teresa’s at the beginning and Jennifer and Bill’s first marriage-counseling session at the end.
Teresa goes to see a woman named Tegan who has a website with an image on the home page of people spelling out the word “L O V E†using hand gestures. Dr. Tegan, or rather Registered Social Worker Tegan, has the most New Jersey therapist’s office I have ever seen. It’s all glass bricks and pink lighting like it’s called Stacked, and there are definitely going to be girls in bikinis dancing on the bar.
I’m glad that Teresa is going to therapy, even if Luis is the one who dragged her there, but I don’t know about this woman. First of all, I am skeptical of any therapist who will appear on reality television. Sorry, call me old-fashioned, but I think that therapists need to be heard and not seen, and even when they are heard, they should be heard in private. What really throws me off is how Luis-focused she is. When Teresa tells her about boys’ night and how Joe told Luis “to go fuck off ten times,†she responds, “WOW!†When Teresa tells her that Luis said that it just shows how much Joe is hurting, she says, “He’s a very compassionate guy.†Was this therapist … recommended by Luis? Is she just there to pump Luis up and separate Teresa from her family?
Then Teresa says she’s scared of her brother and his temper, which she quickly follows up with, “All this toxicity hurts.†This is my problem with Teresa. She doesn’t need a therapist (well, she does, but …); what she really needs is a mirror to look in. Yeah, Joe has a very scary temper, but so does Teresa. Just ask Andy Cohen! She’s right that their toxic relationship is doing no one any good (especially the viewers who are sick of it), but she refuses to accept her part in any of that toxicity. I was hoping that Teresa would see a therapist who would challenge her and her notions of the world, but it seems like she just got Luis’s mouthpiece.
Speaking of people who need to look in the mirror, what about Jennifer Aydin, who addresses Margaret’s jab last episode that she was a “disheveled drug addict†because she likes to occasionally smoke pot? She says in a confessional, “Margaret has a habit of finding anything remotely negative and throwing it in my face without any regard to how it will affect my life.†She’s not wrong, but what about all of Jen’s comments about Margaret sleeping with her boss, Margaret’s mother’s affair, or Margaret’s relationship with her kids? These two have been trading insults like they were Garbage Pail Kids and she had too many Nerdy Norms and needed an Adam Bomb.
There are two sources of immediate tension going into the softball game. Dolores and Frank are slightly at odds now that Paulie is on the scene and Teresa and Jennifer tried to give new girls Rachel and Danielle the hard sell on why they should hate Margaret. As for the Dolores and Frank stuff, I’m a little bit bored because I am firmly on Team Do for this one. Near the end of the episode, she says, “You can’t make me feel guilty for being in a relationship I deserve.†That’s it. That’s not just the tweet; it’s the story line, the season, and the philosophy.
What’s crazy to me is that everyone around them seems to be misunderstanding the situation. When Frank and Brittany, his girlfriend and Rachel’s gym buddy, are in the batting cages, Brittany says that she thought their relationship was weird, but the more time she spends with them, the more she realizes there is “nothing to worry about.†I don’t think Paulie is worried about Dolores going back to Frank. Why would it happen now if it hasn’t happened in 20 years? It’s not about sex; it’s about primacy. It’s an alpha-man thing. They both want to be in the first position in Dolores’s heart. Frank has had it long enough, and I think that he should step aside a bit while Dolores and Paulie go through the honeymoon phase. As things cool a bit, she’ll have more time for him.
At the ball game, Frank expresses that he wishes he would talk to Dolores more, and everyone rushes to his defense and wants to mend what they see as a rift. It seems like the only relationship that everyone on the show doesn’t want to break up is the one that has been caput since the World Trade Center towers were still up. Dolores doesn’t give them an inch. She knows what she is doing is right and that Frank just needs to get over it.
As for the stuff with Marge and Jen, I have a feeling we’re looking at a whole season of this back and forth. It’s the same old stuff, Jen isn’t over that Marge exposed her affair, and Marge won’t let it go. Listen, these two hate each other. Teresa also hates Margaret, even though she didn’t really do anything wrong last season. But I think that Melissa is right: I can totally see Luis telling Teresa to be nice to Margaret because her life will be easier if she’s on her side. I actually think this is a great message. Life is a lot easier when you don’t have any enemies. The problem is Teresa can’t let anything go, so even though she’s acting nice, she’ll never get over her perceived slights.
But the game is the game. Everyone gets along. Teresa and Joe say “hi†to each other and each other’s kids, and they hug and are cordial, and it is wonderful. See, why not do more of this? There was one thing that struck me as odd. Gia says that she hadn’t seen her cousin Joey in a long time and how much he’s grown. She didn’t like that she missed so much in his life. Calm down, Gia. With a father like Joe, it’s not like Joey will grow that much. She then says she feels like Joe and Melissa are trying to drive a wedge between her and her cousins. Wait a minute. Wasn’t it just two weeks ago that we saw Melissa in the car with Antonia telling her what was happening with the adults shouldn’t affect the kids? Meanwhile, Teresa is at home bitching about her brother directly to her daughters. If there is a wedge, then I know the one driving, and I thank the Catholic Jesus it is not Antonia because she can’t even figure out how to turn in to a drive-thru when there is no traffic.
Finally, we come to Jen in therapy with Dr. Judy, the last surviving therapist who personally studied with Sigmund Freud. I sort of love Dr. Judy even though she agreed to go on TV because she refuses to admit that she is on TV. When Jen and Bill talk about his affair becoming public, she’s like, “Why is this a big deal?†Um, cause it’s on a show! I think Jen answers it perfectly when she says that Olivia didn’t hear about the affair from her; she heard it in a TikTok.
I’ve always said that if you’re on a reality show, you need to be willing to have everything in your personal life out there. I was pissed when we found out that Robyn Dixon was withholding her husband’s infidelity. But all this about Olivia is making me very sad. She found out on a TikTok, and now she wants to be a couple’s therapist, and whenever her parents are fighting, she wants them to kiss and show they love each other. Oh, man. Maybe Margaret was wrong all along. Damn it. I hate it when I get sympathetic and have to change my whole worldview.
Jen and Bill’s therapy session just confirmed my complicated opinion of Jen. I can’t stand her when she’s Teresa’s henchperson and negging everyone within a talon’s poke. However, on her own with her family, I love her, support her, and want only the best for her. Of course she’s pissed at Bill, who doesn’t make any time for her or the kids and only comes home to criticize her. When watching the scene, I initially thought, Sorry, Jen, this is the deal you made, he does all the work, and you take care of the kids. But Jen is making a bunch of money now. She is working, and she’s taking care of the kids. This doesn’t seem like much of a partnership at all. Bill looked miserable the whole session, but maybe this will work for them. If not, well, there’s always next year’s ball game to show them a good time.