If the number of people who are muttering “Oh Lord, not Ekin-Su,†under their breath is any measurement, then the fact that The Traitors was renewed in the midst of its stellar second season should be no surprise. The Peacock show casts a variety of known quantities (largely reality-TV stars, plus the occasional athlete or former member of parliament) in a house and gets them to play what is essentially the world’s most intense game of Mafia. This season’s breakout stars include the perma-underdog Parvati Shallow, the secretly cunning Phaedra Parks, the surprisingly wily Bachelor Pilot Pete, and Tweedledee and Tweedledum, Kevin Kreider and Shereé Whitfield. With all that success, it would seem like the sky’s the limit in terms of casting for The Traitors season three. But who do we want to see? Vulture asked around to determine who should make a journey to the Scottish castle.
Dr. Orna (Couples Therapy)
The characteristics of a good Traitor player include: rock-solid poker face, ability to empathize with and understand the viewpoints of others, insight into group dynamics, an understanding of trigger points and behavioral patterns, generally likable, and a willingness to do uncomfortable things. If for some reason Couples Therapy’s Dr. Orna Guralnik ever decided to do a competition show, everyone else should just concede immediately. — Kathryn VanArendonk
Monica Garcia (The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City)
Hey, Monica Garcia is looking for a job. No stranger to the long con, Monica spent years trolling the ladies on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City only to join their ranks. It took master detective Heather Gay to catch her, and unless Heather is also in the cast, Monica has the potential to do serious damage as a Traitor. If Phaedra doesn’t pull off the win this season, I could see Monica fulfilling the Housewives prophecy and running the game next season — if her reputation doesn’t kill her first. —Nic Juarez
Trisha Paytas (Influencer)
Look, The Traitors is a TV show, and on TV shows, entertainment is tantamount. And nobody knows how to put on a show like Trisha Paytas. The oft-cancelled multihyphenate is a chaos agent to the highest degree, and on a show that thrives on chaos agents butting up against the hardest gamers in the business, Paytas would maximize the possibility of absolute mania in the castle. Do I think she would understand the rules? No. Does that matter? Not really. —Jason P. Frank
Tonya Harding (Ice Skater, Nancy Kerrigan Foe)
This show requires game players, bold swings, strategizing, and star quality. Who possesses those traits more than the iconic disgraced figure skater Tonya Harding? The Traitors loves bringing people in whose reputation precedes them, giving them a chance to double down as cutthroat competitors or be seen in a totally new light. And maybe if she plays a great game, then Sufjan Stevens will write another song about her! —Tom Smyth
Sean Rector (Survivor)
Okay, yes, this is a deep cut. Sean Rector hasn’t been on our TV screens since all the way back in season four of Survivor. That’s a long time. But Rector is one of the best contestants ever on Survivor, funny (as seen when he’s riding a horse that makes his nuts hurt), strategic (he helped pull off the first power shift in the history of the game), and eloquent (he called out how Black players were inherently playing at a disadvantage). It’s absolutely ridiculous that his original show, for all its talk of equity in recent seasons, hasn’t invited him back. Rector would be an invaluable presence on The Traitors — a show that, like Survivor, needs to contend with the way that implicit biases affect the show’s outcomes. Rector come back! —J.P.F.
Willam Belli (RuPaul’s Drag Race)
This Drag Race alum already has experience with banishment from a reality competition, having gained notoriety for being kicked off of season four due to a vaguely defined instance of rule-breaking. The narrative around that disqualification — still the only one in Drag Race herstory — has shifted several times in the decade-plus since it happened, but pretty much every version of the story suggests that Willam would be much more comfortable with The Traitors’ backstabbing machinations than the kindhearted Peppermint (whose season-two banishment came much too early, but was nonetheless kind of inevitable). A seasoned performer and chaos agent, Willam not only understands the rules of reality TV, but also seems willing and able to twist, or downright break, those rules if need be. —Genevieve Koski
Draymond Green (Golden State Warriors)
The veteran Golden State Warriors heavy (and podcaster) famously possesses one of the best defensive minds in basketball. And given that retirement is likely around the corner for Green, who turns 34 this year, what better way to supercharge his budding media career than by slotting him in with the Housewives, specialists of coalition-building defense? —Nicholas Quah
Hannah Ferrier (Below Deck Mediterranean)
As much as I’d love to see it, The Traitors just can’t bring Kate back again. So, I return to my season-two pitch: Just get her even more chaotic Below Deck Med counterpoint, Hannah, instead. —Justin Curto
Kelley Wentworth (Survivor)
Last year, I stumped for Parvati Shallow to join season two, which has made for incredible television thus far. So why not return to the Survivor well and pull in another idol queen in Kelley Wentworth? I can already hear her saying, “You know what, Alan?†right before murdering Selling Sunset’s Jason Oppenheim or Vanderpump Rules’ Jax Taylor. She’s sneaky enough to be a dangerous Traitor and has enough social game to lead an alliance of Faithfuls. Either way, she’d shake up the game and give great confessionals while doing it. —N.J.
Gemma Collins (The Only Way Is Essex)
Collins is already a staple of British reality TV, whose antics on shows like The Only Way Is Essex and Dancing on Ice have spurned countless memes, but starring on The Traitors would finally grant her much-deserved international stardom. Her turn on Celebrity Big Brother showcased her pure disdain for games, so seeing her compete in increasingly intense challenges would be an utter delight. And while we’re at it, why not reunite her with her CBB rival Tiffany Pollard? —T.S.
Bob the Drag Queen (RuPaul’s Drag Race)
We need Bob to move up from starting fake beef on the internet to starting real beef on a reality show. Peppermint may have struggled to hold her own in the castle, but we already know from that Bob can be ruthless — just ask Derrick Barry. —J.C.
Olivia Caridi (The Bachelor)
Caridi, one of the greatest Bachelor villains of all time, thought she was the frontrunner until Ben Higgins left her stranded on a rainy island in the Bahamas. That lack of self-awareness would be a major liability on The Traitors, and she’d likely go out quickly in a blaze of open-mouthed delusion. —Emily Palmer Heller
Christine Quinn (Selling Sunset)
After graduating from Selling Sunset (any of y’all still watch that?), Christine Quinn is ready to re-enter her villain era. As a defining member of Netflix’s first good reality-TV show, she knows how to carry a team, and her experience in selling incredibly expensive real estate means she can easily charm and persuade the other participants. I also really want to see what plaid outfits she’d wear. —Morgan Baila
Daniel Ricciardo (F1: Drive to Survive)
Australian race car driver Daniel Ricciardo has struggled with his identity and placement on the grid in recent seasons of Netflix’s F1: Drive to Survive, so a new gig might be just the thing that the aging Honey Badger needs. Accented hottie with experience working in a high-stakes team environment? He’ll do well in the traitors’ mansion. —Anusha Praturu
Lydia Velez Gonzalez (Love Is Blind)
It’s time for someone from the Netflix Cinematic Universe to defect to The Traitors, and I’m hoping it’s Love Is Blind’s Lydia Velez Gonzalez. Lydia is no stranger to controversy and doesn’t shy away from tough situations. She could read most of the strategy folks at the roundtable but would probably get demolished by a Housewife or Drag Race queen. Still, she’s way more loyal and clever than half of the Love Is Blind audience gives her credit for, and she’d be sure to bring drama to the season. —N.J.
Prince Harry (Former Royal)
That memoir money is not gonna last forever. My guy needs a job. —N.Q.