...he didn't make it

An Exhaustive List of Ways TV and Movies Make Us Cry

See No. 4 and No. 25. Photo: Columbia Pictures

As the saying goes, there are really only six kinds of stories. But within those few basic structures, you’ll find a vast array of tropes guaranteed to coax a tear out of even the most callous of viewers. Here they are.

1. Dog dies

2. A gay tragedy to remind the straights how precious life is

3. Old people in love

4. A wise, sick child

5. The town saves the superhero

6. Sufjan Stevens is playing

7. “Beauty of existence†montage

8. A guy gets really specific about all the stuff he misses about his late wife

9. I’ve learned so much from this brief relationship

10. A child/supernatural entity confronts death for the first time and is like “Please wake upâ€

11. Mom is trying her best

12. A dad has feelings

13. The team’s weakest, cutest member dies

14. The War

15. Someone who was in The War remembers The War

16. Girl Trauma (the pain of growing up)

17. Woman Trauma (CPTSD diagnoses-adjacent)

18. A deathbed reconciliation

19. “… He didn’t make itâ€

20. A deathbed reconciliation can’t occur because … he didn’t make it

21. That moment in Cool Runnings when the guy finds out he’s never going to live in Buckingham Palace and the thing that’s motivated him his whole life is completely unattainable and he was stupid to ever want it. More broadly, thwarted dreams?

22. Heroically blowing yourself up for the greater good, something Shea Whigam has done twice

23. A tough character is trying to fight their way out of being sad, and it’s like “punch punch punch, cry cry cryâ€

24. Memory fading, magical or regular

25. Claire Danes is crying and now I’m crying

26. The siblings who have been separated by the plot are reunited and now I’m crying

27. The music is really loud and pretty and now I’m crying I don’t quite know why shut up

28. The character who is struggling finally checks into rehab

29. An “Oh God, what have I done?†realization

30. History catches up with the story, like that Robert Pattinson movie that turns out to be taking place on 9/11

31. “I don’t care about me, just save my baby!â€

32. A ghost is talking to a living person but the living person can’t hear them

33. A sad mirror montage, like in The Royal Tenenbaums. Or Mulan, whichever

34. The guy who’s been keeping it together during a tragedy finally snaps

35. The power of friendship

36. Someone is dying and they’re like “I don’t want to dieâ€

37. Someone talking about their life’s passion

38. An “I believe in you†monologue

39. Healing generational trauma

40. Oh dang, their death has been foreshadowed this whole time

41. You think someone is talking to a character offscreen, but surprise! It’s a tombstone

42. The comic-relief character goes to therapy

43. The sky is pretty and also a metaphor

44. Eulogies, which are always sadder in fiction because they’re written and spoken by professionals, and that’s not really fair to IRL funerals is it?

45. You’re a time traveler/vampire/unfrozen caveman and everyone you’ve ever loved is old and/or dead

46. The protagonist finds out how much they mean to other people

47. Someone is being carried/cradled in Pieta-like fashion, like Ryan did to Marissa on three different occasions on The O.C.

48. Man is the real monster

49. Daddy wasn’t there

50. Surrogate Daddy was there, but he’s dead now

51. Your loved one is still alive in these home movies!

52. Someone knew they were going to die, and left a video message that’s like “[whispered] You have to go onâ€

53. The majesty and metaphor, the epic highs and lows of high-school football

54. Someone knows they’re turning into a zombie and is being very brave about it

55. A poorly attended birthday

56. A sad li’l singalong

57. You thought E.T. was dying but he’s fine now

58. The Christmas Truce of 1914

59. Congrats! You got everything you ever wanted. But at what cost?

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An Exhaustive List of Ways TV and Movies Make Us Cry