Heather Havrilesky Author Archive
Give A Gift
MOST RECENT ARTICLES BY:

Heather Havrilesky

Columnist, the Cut.
See all their articles from across New York Magazine
[email protected]
  1. advice
    Ask Polly: Aren’t Some People Just Doomed to Be Miserable?The world isn’t split into two factions. It’s not that simple.
  2. advice
    Ask Polly: My Boyfriend’s Ex Is Torturing Me!Remember, she has no power here.
  3. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Being a Fake?Don’t believe the story you’ve told yourself.
  4. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I Too Uptight?Practice letting go of control a little.
  5. psa
    Parents on Planes Don’t Owe You a BribeGrow up.
  6. cut cover story
    Winona Ryder Forever: How the Gen-X Icon Kept Her Cool“I’m so sick of people shaming women for being sensitive or vulnerable. It’s so bizarre to me.”
  7. advice
    Ask Polly: My Ex Was Awful, But I Can’t Get Over Him!You’ve got to stop believing he’s the center of the universe.
  8. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m Broke and I Hate My Job!A boring job that doesn’t even pay well is the purest waste of time in the world.
  9. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Dump My Crappy Best Friend?Don’t argue. State your values, and move on.
  10. advice
    It’s Never Been Harder to Be YoungThe Cut’s Ask Polly on what she’s learned giving advice.
  11. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Accept Myself and Fit In?Give yourself a break.
  12. advice
    Ask Polly: When Will My Boyfriend Realize I’m Too Needy to Love?Stop asking for his approval.
  13. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Help My 25-Year-Old Daughter?Don’t project your own anxieties.
  14. ask polly
    Ask Polly: Why Am I Always Too Much for Men?You aren’t listening.
  15. advice
    Ask Polly: What Did I Do to Deserve This?You’re reaching for love in spite of huge obstacles.
  16. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m Having a Midlife Crisis!You have to start savoring what you do.
  17. tv
    Thank God for Selina Meyer’s Unapologetic 50-Something Sex DriveThank god for Selina Meyer’s unapologetic sex drive on Veep.
  18. advice
    Ask Polly: My Husband Can’t Handle Money, and It’s Ruining Our Lives!You’ve got to take control here.
  19. ask polly
    Ask Polly: Why Do I Always Want Unavailable Men?This isn’t about the men.
  20. advice
    Ask Polly: My Sister Has Cancer, and I Can’t Go OnEven though you’d rather crawl into a hole than face this reality, you can’t.
  21. mothers and daughters
    Sometimes Being a Good Mom Means Shutting UpBut the definition of “good mom” is always changing.
  22. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Help Others or Be an Artist?They don’t have to be contradictory!
  23. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Do Men Even Want to Date Women?Making yourself feel superior to other women is not a good look.
  24. first person
    Prince Showed Me a Whole New Way of ExistingSuddenly I knew that all of the things that everyone called “bad” might actually be very, very good indeed.
  25. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Should I Keep Going?Stop trying to escape where you are.  
  26. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m an Outspoken Comedian and Men Don’t Want Me!Forget about the comedian dudes you’re pursuing.
  27. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Start Believing in My Worth?Remember, we’re all 90 percent microbes.
  28. it’s complicated
    My Wedding Was a Disaster, and Yours Will Be, TooIf you expect it to be perfect, that is.
  29. advice
    Ask Polly: When Will These Doubts About My Girlfriend Go Away?Depends what kind of doubts.
  30. advice
    Ask Polly: My Father Raped Me.I’m so sorry for what you’ve endured.
  31. advice
    Ask Polly: What Am I Doing Wrong With Men?Nothing, except fixating on what’s wrong with you.
  32. Ask Polly and So Sad Today Talk About FeelingsA conversation on anxiety, art, and social media.
  33. advice
    Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Says It’s No Big Deal If We Break Up!Don’t waste your time trying to be chill.
  34. motherhood
    Sue Klebold and the Truth About Normal ParentsThe blind spots and missteps described in the Columbine mom’s memoir are hauntingly familiar.
  35. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Did My Oldest Friend Dump Me?You need to let go.
  36. advice
    Ask Polly: Can I Dump My Dying Boyfriend?No one can make this decision for you.
  37. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I Too Controlling?No, but you can’t save someone from himself.
  38. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m a Former Fat Nerd. Will Anyone Ever Love Me?Nothing is less interesting than men who have always had it all. 
  39. true romance
    What Romance Really Means After 10 Years of MarriageIt’s not about suspense; it’s about survival.
  40. advice
    Ask Polly: Why Did My Dream Man Dump Me?No one can be a sexy badass all the time.
  41. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Express My Feelings Like a Human?Being human means messing this stuff up.
  42. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I Too Anxious to Ever Find Love?Accept that you can’t control everything.
  43. advice
    Ask Polly: How Can I Make My Marriage Last?Generosity, exercise, and a really big bed.
  44. life-changing magic
    The Problem With Marie Kondo’s Second BookFrom anti-consumption messiah to multi-tier consumable.
  45. advice
    Ask Polly: Am I a Woman or a Man or Something Else?You don’t have to decide everything right now.
  46. advice
    Ask Polly: I Finally Came Out and My First Lover Ghosted Me“Right after I came out, I lost my virginity and had my heart broken.”
  47. advice
    Ask Polly’s Holiday Survival GuideHow to avoid regressing to a childlike state and setting your house on fire during your next visit home.
  48. advice
    Ask Polly: How Do I Deal With My Nasty Brother?He needs to put on his big-boy pants.
  49. advice
    Ask Polly: I’m Homesick But I Can’t Move Home!Every location on the planet has its particular indignities.
  50. advice
    Ask Polly: Should I Date a Single Mom With an Out-of-Control Kid?First, you both need to figure some things out.
More Articles