Kelly Conaboy Author Archive
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Kelly Conaboy

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Kelly Conaboy is the author of The Particulars of Peter: Dance Lessons, DNA Tests, and Other Excuses to Hang Out with My Perfect Dog. She has written for the New York Times, The Atlantic, and the Washington Post.

  1. fitness
    Cat Understands the Benefits of Physical Fitness, But Only to a PointAnd the benefits of rest.
  2. hell yeah patti labelle
    Patti LaBelle Is Dating Her 41-Year-Old Drummer, Eric Seats — Hell YeahPatti LaBelle and Eric Seats have been dating for a year and a half.
  3. baby got a car now
    Prince George Has a Car Now? Well Gooooooood for Him“Beep beep!” (Not even sure Prince George can say this.)
  4. secrets secrets are no fun
    Uncovering Olivia Palermo’s Turtleneck Hair-Tuck Secret Olivia Palermo’s perfect turtleneck hair tuck is plainly known, but her method? A beautiful secret.
  5. sweet sweet love
    Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall Are a Perfect PairA match made in heaven.
  6. what even is reality
    Young Doll Selflessly Promises Life to Older DollRosie Huntington-Whiteley and Jason Statham are engaged.
  7. headbutting
    Orlando Bloom’s Head-Butting: ExplainedYou still don’t get why Orlando Bloom head-butted his head bloody? Ugh, fine.
  8. the pussy posse
    Pussy Posse Member Introduces The RevenantCongratulations to the Pussy Posse on its big night at the Golden Globes.
  9. what the hell oscar isaac
    Oscar Isaac Rudely Kisses Woman at the Golden Globes, Overwhelms TwitterYour boyfriend kissed another woman at an awards show.
  10. itchy vagina
    Amy Schumer Said Her Vagina Itched on the Golden Globes Red CarpetAmy Schumer said “vagina.”
  11. why channing tatum did you do this
    Channing Tatum, WHYYYYY With Your Golden Globes Hair?Channing Tatum, my man — you’ve got bad hair tonight.
  12. incredible true love stories
    Catcalling From a Garbage Truck: A Love StoryThey met when he shouted “hey” at her from a garbage truck, but fell in love when he relentlessly criticized her outfit.
  13. miranda kerr’s muffins
    Why Are You Being So Rude About Miranda Kerr’s Gluten-Free Muffins?It’s called manners and it’s called muffins.
  14. your sapphire
    The World’s Biggest Star Blue Sapphire Can Be YoursPicture the world’s biggest star blue sapphire in your hand.
  15. reality tv
    Cynthia Nixon Reveals Sex and the City Was Essentially a DocumentaryI couldn’t help but wonder, am I watching a documentary right now?
  16. romance
    Man Proposes, Steals Sex Toys, Gets Arrested, Inspires EnvyRomance is alive in Michigan.
  17. zayn my man
    Zayn, Shut Up!Zayn Malik says he likes girls who are “a bit chunky” but only in “the nice areas.”
  18. just a lot of head-butting
    Orlando Bloom Had Fun, So What?He was at a party where all the men were head-butting and he head-butted them ‘til his head was bloody. All right?
  19. listen to me gigi
    Unsolicited Advice for Gigi Hadid Regarding Zayn MalikGigi, it is too early to apartment hunt with Zayn Malik.
  20. guided meditations
    A Guided Gilmore Girls Meditation on the Stars Hollow SetLie on the ground and close your eyes.
  21. sad science
    New Report Shows Sleep Is Harder for Women, Primarily Single Moms, No DuhTrouble sleeping? According to a new report from the CDC, you might be a woman.
  22. free money from celebs
    Celebrities: Pay Our Rent (Please)Let’s get in on this scam.
  23. good ladies
    Jennifer Lawrence on Her Slutty Lesbian Style“I don’t know if that’s offensive —”
  24. poor kitty
    The World Weeps for Monkey Cat — Our Poor, Little Monkey CatLittle cat eyes full of adorable contempt.
  25. requiems
    Good-bye, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kelly RohrbachRequiem aeternam dona eis, Domine.
  26. incredible
    You’ll Never Guess What Gwen Stefani ‘Liked’ on Twitter Somewhat RecentlyCheck out this explosive Gwen Stefani Twitter “like.”
  27. sassy snap
    Megyn Kelly Doubles Down on Misguided Wage-Gap Stance“It’s like some of these things are anathema — if you say them, you get booted out of the feminist club.”
  28. all i wanna do
    M.I.A. Debuts Very Beautiful U.S. Visa Application on InstagramAll I wanna do [posting-a-photo-to-Instagram sound effect].
  29. poems
    NYC Announces City’s Most-Popular Baby Names: A PoemIsabella, Olivia, Mia, and Emma: none of them my name, what a dilemma.
  30. baby tampon speaker
    Would You Put a Little Speaker in Your Vagina (for Your Baby)?Spanish singer Soraya performed to a group of unborn babies recently via vaginal speaker.
  31. ever heard of ross?
    Kylie Jenner Doesn’t Know What Friends Is“A character on Friends … what is that?”
  32. good tweets
    Carrie Fisher Invites Jerks to Blow Her“Tough but fair.”
  33. no
    According to Ivanka, Trump Is Our AdvocateAll female children of Trump will have equality in the Trump administration.
  34. hover rants
    Nobody Tells Russell Crowe What to Do With His HoverboardsThe actor took to Twitter after Virgin Australia denied his right to ‘board.
  35. sad puppy dog eyes
    Like You, Sarah McLachlan Can’t Watch Those Sad ASPCA CommercialsIn the arms of an angel, fly away from those sad ASPCA commercials.
  36. attention hounds
    Fine, Dog — You May Have Some AttentionCutie doggy slippy-slidey right across your screen.
  37. too many christmas gifts
    Kanye Made Kim Open 150 Boxes for ChristmasEvery new mother’s dream: 150 tiny chores.
  38. enough
    We Don’t Need Madonna’s Family DramaEveryone has enough of his or her own drama to deal with, thank you.
  39. depressing christmas
    Listen to a New ‘Depressing Christmas’ Song From Sadie Dupuis Here’s Sadie Dupuis’s “Krampus (In Love),” your new favorite Christmas song.
  40. celebrity babies
    Chrissy Teigen Announces She Is Carrying Smaller Chrissy Teigen in WombOn Instagram on Thursday, Chrissy Teigen debuted her Vogue Thailand cover and — surprise! — her baby’s sex.
  41. damn eric clapton got owned
    Two Chicks Owned Eric Clapton So HardThey asked him for a photo (of someone else).
  42. fyi
    Taylor Swift Is Impervious to Global WarmingIt all reminds me of a classic Christmas carol.
  43. emergency on the shelf
    Christmas Reminder: Please Don’t Call 911 About Elf on the ShelfAccidentally touching your elf is not an emergency.
  44. false lists
    Channing Tatum Is Worth Every PennyAccording to Forbes, Channing Tatum is Hollywood’s seventh-most overpaid actor of 2015. This is false.
  45. cowards
    21 Percent of Justin Bieber Fans Are LiarsAre you a Justin Bieber fan? Don’t you dare lie to me.
  46. kiss kiss
    Jennifer Lawrence Talks Smoking Weed, Kissing Liam Hemsworth on WWHLHate to be a gossip, but did you hear Jennifer Lawrence kissed Liam Hemsworth?
  47. holiday nightmares
    Kate Middleton’s Kitsch Christmas CatastropheKate Middleton is decorating for Christmas with “glittery baubles,” “flashing tree lights,” and “mounds of tinsel”? Incredible.
  48. emojis
    Text a Friend a Kim Kardashian Butt, Why Not?Kim Kardashian [Kim Kardashian butt] launched [rocketship] an emoji app [upside-down smile].
  49. no thank you
    Yummy, Yummy, Princess Diana’s Disgusting Old Wedding Cake in Your TummyHow much would you pay for disgusting old cake?
  50. wow
    Miranda Kerr Possesses Abilities We May Never Fully UnderstandWith great power comes great outfit all of a sudden.