Barack and Michelle Obama Quash Divorce Rumors via Subtweet

Photo: @BarackObama/X

Michelle Obama skipped both Jimmy Carter’s state funeral and Donald Trump’s second inauguration last month. So obviously, Michelle and Barack are … getting a divorce?

There is a huge pile of evidence that Michelle Obama did not attend these events because she really hates Trump. There is pretty much no evidence that she’s trying to avoid her husband of 32 years, unless In Touch is your most trusted news source, you don’t understand satire, and you refuse to accept Jennifer Aniston’s insistence that she is not having a torrid affair with Barack. Nevertheless, there’s been a ton of speculation recently that the former president and First Lady are separated, or maybe even headed for divorce.

The Obamas (sort of) addressed the rumors in a pair of subtweets on January 17. Barack posted this message on X, wishing a happy birthday to the “love of my life.”

Barack writes a sweet birthday message to his wife every year, as the Daily Mail noted while freaking out over the fact that he didn’t post first thing on January 17. But it seems like Michelle was not offended by her husband waiting 12 hours and 40 minutes to publicly wish her a happy birthday.

The former first couple posted another pair of lovey-dovey messages on Valentine’s Day:

So there you have it: Clearly the Obamas are still very much in love … or very committed to this elaborate conspiracy to needlessly lie about their relationship status!

This post was updated after to include the Obamas’ Valentines Day posts.