Whatever the hysterical women in Hot Properties are selling—Ava Summerlin (Gail O’Grady), married to a much younger man, wanting a brand-new baby; Chloe Reid (Nicole Sullivan), with only self-help books to cuddle up with at night in bed; Lola Hernandez (Sofia Vergara), recently divorced after ten years of marriage to a guy who turned out to be gay; and Emerson Ives (Christina Moore), who is both an heiress and the sort of virgin who makes you rethink your objections to Aztec ritual sacrifice—it isn’t real estate.