After Him, the Deluge

Several hundred young girls crushed up against the barricades, screaming, crying, and desperate. If you didn’t know it was Leonardo’s latest premiere, you could have mistaken it for a scene from some sweet bygone era when girls in knee socks ran out onto the tarmac to meet their heroes’ planes. But unlike those old matinee idols, he wasn’t playing his part. “Leonardo’s not being photographed,” beleaguered publicists repeated all week long, as he nonetheless made himself quite visible, eating at high-profile restaurants and installing himself at the center of his own teeming party. Dignitaries, celebrities, and overindulged teenyboppers alike clustered around for a chance to gaze upon his lovely form. “This guy’s a Jesus Christ for our time,” said magician David Blaine. Offering a more likely explanation for the phenomenon, Ivanka Trump said, “Of course I’m in love with Leo, but I’m an adolescent, so it should be expected.”

After Him, the Deluge