Bill Clinton Finds the Song That Makes Israel and Palestine Get Along

“I worked so hard when I was President — for eight long years — for peace in the Middle East. And if you hadn’t withheld that song from me, we’d have made it! I might never go outside without a sponge in my hand for the rest of my life.� —President Bill Clinton, after hearing Jimmy Fallon’s “Car Wash for Peace� [Entertainment Weekly]

“At least, not being able to speak, I am spared the need to explain why every film is ‘overlooked,’ or why I wrote Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.�— Roger Ebert, on attending his Overlooked Film Festival, despite the fact that health problems prevented him from speaking [Chicago Sun Times]

“We write a lot of stuff that’s catchy, that sticks in your head. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that middle-school kids are going to want to listen to a song about a lawyer or a Subaru, or whatever.� —Fountains of Wayne singer Adam Schlesinger, on why his band isn’t more popular [The Onion]

“We only had a week or so to do this stuff, but we came up with a sea-turtle guitar.� —Pirates of the Caribbean production designer Rick Heinrichs, on preparing for Keith Richards’s cameo [MTV]

“I don’t ever want to date another actor again … Sometimes creative people can be very dark and destructive.� —Kirsten Dunst, who recently began dating Razorlight front man Johnny Borrell [People] — Lindsey Thomas