What the Terrorists Don’t Understand About Zac Efron

We’re not ones to take exception with Islamofascists threatening Western celebrities — that could possibly be politically incorrect! — but the Al Qaeda–affiliated Britons who issued death threats to Diddy and other dangerous subversives in the video that we highlighted earlier today really got us peeved. Does no one in self-imposed exile from popular culture realize that Zac Efron might be the sultriest rascal in all of scoundreldom? We’ve already expounded on his bad-boy credentials — his agnosticism, his taste for tongue-kissing — but we want to make this crystal clear to the people who hate our way of life: No matter what Diddy calls his record label (it’s Bad Boy), gangster rappers like him come about as close to touching Zac’s religious-riot-inducing rapscallion status as we came to touching Zac when we last saw him (not close, owing to the bodyguards). Just in the last 24 hours, the gossip on him has been running rampant: He drives a crappy car; his androgynous but still rugged, oil-slicked look suggests an affinity with a certain action star. Get with the program, terrorists! —Nick Catucci

Related: Religious Zealots vs. Pop Culture