quote machine

Jack McBrayer Is Sorry for Hitting Mariah Carey in the Face With That Frisbee

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“Her bodyguard came and explained to me that I should probably be more careful. And we never saw that Frisbee again.â€â€”Jack McBrayer on hitting Mariah Carey in the face with a Frisbee on the set of her new video [NYT]

“In Marie Claire, they said I had gorgeously muscled buttocks. I would like to know what their benchmark for ‘gorgeous,’ ‘muscled’ and ‘buttock’ is.†—Thomas Haden Church demands a recount [NYP]

“He’s the bride. You kind of could have guessed that, wouldn’t you?†—Danger Mouse on the bride and groom costumes that he and Cee-Lo wore to promote The Odd Couple [LAT]

“After the second album, all the doors were closed. It felt like we’d hit this Lara Croft moment where basically none of the keys work and every door is fucking locked! And you think, but there must be a key! I’ve got find this fucking key. And that’s almost the reason that we stopped.†—Portishead’s Geoff Barrow [Pitchfork]

“Well, anybody who buys a lottery ticket doesn’t buy one saying, ‘I am not going to win.’†—Morgan Spurlock, who definitely did not find Osama bin Laden [NYT]