We Are Kind of Worried About That Rumor About Batman, Johnny Depp, and Philip Seymour Hoffman

Look, we know that it was in the Enquirer. But what if the Enquirer is right?? And so we must address the rumor that Warner Bros. wants Johnny Depp to play the Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman to play the Penguin in future Batman movies. “(Producers) are convinced that the role of the Riddler is perfect for Depp,� a source told the paper. “And what better Penguin is there than Philip Seymour Hoffman.� (Weirdly, this story isn’t anywhere on the Enquirer’s own Website — did someone make it up?) (We mean, someone other than the Enquirer?)

To all of this we can only say: Don’t do it, Johnny! Steer clear, Phil! Whoever takes on the first post–Dark Knight Batman villain role is critically doomed — no matter how good they are, they won’t be as good as Heath Ledger was. There’s no percentage in it, guys! Although the idea of a Philip Seymour Hoffman Penguin does edge the guy a little further into John C. Reilly territory, which would be nice.

Johnny Depp to Play the Riddler? [Contact Music]