Jeepers! Until a few minutes ago, we were fairly confident that Where the Wild Things Are was bound to be the scariest adaptation of a famed children’s book that we were ever going to lay eyes on. If Warner Bros. thought they had issues when test screenings of Spike Jonze’s latest resulted in mass pants-shittings from prepubescent audiences, wait till Disney takes a look at the feedback cards from children who see Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland 3-D! Johnny Depp’s Mad Hatter has bruised knuckles, filthy fingernails and looks as if he’s been on a four-year-long opium bender, while Helena Bonham Carter’s freakish Red Queen could not have been inspired by anyone other than John Wayne Gacy. As adults, we’re thrilled to see that Burton is embracing the druggier aspects of Lewis Carroll’s story and getting his inner Alejandro Jodorowsky on, but that said, Disney had better start putting together an innovative plan to hand out fresh batches of Pampers along with their 3-D glasses to underage moviegoers as they walk in the theater.