Awfulsome. Where awful and awesome meet, rub up against each other, and birth something new — something simultaneously good and bad. Katy Perry’s ecstatically, enjoyably, endearingly hollow album Teenage Dream, out today, is full of lyrics that embody this term — awful lyrics that after repeated hearings (and, there will be repeated hearings!) begin to earn some admiration for being so brazenly, so straightforwardly, so bravely ridiculous. Consider: Thanks to Perry’s unavoidably catchy “Peacock,†in a few months Americans will be going about their business with the phrase, “I want to see your peacock cock cock cock†stuck in their heads. Is that awful? Really, really awful? Or just goofy and twisted enough to be awesome? After the jump, “Peacock†and nine other lyrics that aspire to awfulsome-ness. Do they get there?
10. “You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of Julyâ€
— “Fireworkâ€
9. “You fall asleep during foreplay
‘Cause the pills you take are more your forteâ€
—â€Circle the Drainâ€
8. “We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a troisâ€
—â€Last Friday Nightâ€
7. “Heavy is the head that wears the crown
Don’t let the greatness get you downâ€
—â€Who Am I Living Forâ€
6. “Take me, ta-ta-take me
Wanna be your victim
Ready for abductionâ€
—â€E.T.â€
5. “Let’s party to create affinityâ€
— “Hummingbird Heartâ€
4. “If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbowâ€
—â€Fireworkâ€
4. “Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic failâ€
—â€Last Friday Nightâ€
3. “You make me feel like I’m losing my virginity.â€
—â€Hummingbird Heartâ€
2. “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again?â€
—â€Fireworkâ€
1. “I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock. Your Peacock, cock.
Come on baby, let me see, what you’re hiding underneath …
Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
Don’t be a chicken boy, stop acting like a bee-yotch
I’mma peace out if you don’t give me the pay off.
Come on baby let me see
What you’re hiding underneath.
Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
What you’re waiting for, it’s time for you to show it off
Don’t be a shy kinda guy I’ll bet it’s beautiful …
Oh my god no exaggeration
Boy, all this time was worth the waiting
I just shed a tear
I am so unprepared
You’ve got the finest architecture
And oh the rainbow looking treasure
Such a sight to see
And it’s all for me.
Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?â€
—â€Peacockâ€
We leave any out?