The latest clip from Country Strong, of Gwyneth Paltrow performing the rousing country jam “Shake That Thing†(sample lyrics: “Belly up to the bar / Cuervo PBR / flirting with the bartender/ hey, baby, no charge … If you’ve got it/ flaunt it / make the cowboys want it.†etc. etc.), has arrived. While it doesn’t have a Gwyneth Paltrow drunken spaz-out spectacular, a shirtless Garrett Hedlund, a rousing chorus, or the sweet, sweet musical stylings of Chris Martin, it will do. And when we say “do,†we mean, provide a four-minute opportunity to study the entire catalogue of Gwyneth Paltrow’s bizarro dance moves. As she demonstrated on Glee, Paltrow is a smooth-moving marionette — so not all that smooth, but very enthusiastic. Wearing a tight, black dress, the dances Paltrow appears to be attempting/pioneering in this clip include, but are not limited to, the “Look at this shirt! Look at this skirt!†jive; the stripper-pole strut; the pool shot (easily mistaken for the universal-gesture-for-intercourse slide); the head toss; the football-player clap; the shoulder-shimmy-ing sashay; the I-can’t-really-shake-my-booty rumba; the gawky knee bump; the heel-toe-heel-toe trot; the sexy lasso; the lean back, lean back; the grind up against the old guitarist; and the interpretive-dance version of head-banging. We’ve made it clear how excited we are for this movie, right?
