In her latest video, for the Kanye West–enhanced “E.T.,” Katy Perry has finally opted not to shoot anything out of her breasts. Instead, she bangs an alien. There have been images of Katy dressed up like an alien going around the Internet for weeks now, but whatever makeup artist got to paint her face should still be proud: Perry’s rocking a number of genuinely detailed, outlandish, semi-gorgeous rainbow-kabuki looks. After floating around in outer space for the first few minutes of the song, Perry floats down to Earth, where she basically spots Wall-E with a glowing heart. She wipes off his visor, gives him a kiss, a light goes off, Kanye West floats around and raps for a bit (“What’s next, alien sex / I’mma disrobe you / and then probe you”), and it turns out her robot alien is actually an albino African-American. Katy Perry says alien, we say albino African American; Katy Perry says tomato, we say an alliterative thing that sort of sounds like tomato, but is actually nothing like a tomato. Then it turns out that Perry totally doesn’t have legs, she has gazelle hooves, because being an alien means being made up of the most graceful parts of Earth’s mammals: We’re surprised she didn’t have a giraffe neck to go with those flanks.
