The Smurfs movie trailer can barely even BELIEVE that it’s the Smurfs movie trailer, you guys. As much as I love Neil Patrick Harris and Hank Azaria and want them to be billionaires, the Smurfs movie (in 3-D) is just too painfully, crushingly aware of itself as The Smurfs Movie to capture any of their innate fun sweetness. From Katy Perry’s sexy, breathy Marilyn Monsmurf character to the rocking soundtrack, there’s so much winking to the audience, you’d think the movie had Bell’s Palsy. Some choice quotes to consider.
A Smurf also falls into a toilet. I TOO JUST SMURFED IN MY MOUTH. While nothing can touch the bizarre hyperawareness of 2000’s The Adventures of Rocky And Bullwinkle Movie (why yes, that is a Who Want’s to Be A Millionaire joke at the end), god bless the child who has to be subjected to this hot mess, and god bless the parent who has to explain what the Scottish Smurf meant by his “enchanted forest.â€