The Metallica–Lou Reed album Lulu is upon us, and despite the record’s high-concept origins and the artists’ mutual admiration society, Lou Reed still somehow managed to take a few shots at his collaborators, right to their faces. After praising James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich for being “real rock ’n’ roll people with real muscle,†Reed goes on to blast overly produced rock shows. “When you do a show — I can’t stand being blinded by a stupid light show when I want to see the people. When did it turn into ‘you have to have a light show’? What happened? Where did I go wrong?†he rants to the Times. “I mean I started out with Warhol doing light shows, but that was different. It was movies and it was in the spirit of the music. Now it’s pyrotechnics and clever lights and computerized … who cares?†Wait — doesn’t Metallica use a light show? Indeed! “Well, we care,†Hetfield says. “We like it. It’s another dimension. It adds a little extra danger.†But Reed doesn’t back down, because of course he doesn’t, because he’s Lou Reed. Hetfield says the lights and effects are fun in bigger venues, but that just made Reed madder. “It’s like a video broadcast,†he says. “You can’t see any sweat, can’t see any muscle, can’t see anything … You might as well watch it on TV as far as I’m concerned. I’d rather be in a small club and watch a guy beat his guitar to death.†Don’t hold your breath for the tour, folks. [ArtsBeat/NYT]