Wholesome Ukrainian society is under siege by American cartoon shows, according to a government commission. Ukraine’s National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality is particularly concerned about the homoerotic SpongeBob SquarePants, calling the animated adventures of the titular character and his best pink starfish friend, Patrick, “a real threat to children.†Other apparent menaces include The Teletubbies (which turns children into “imbecilesâ€), as well as Family Guy, The Simpsons, and Pokemon (all “projects aimed at the destruction of the family.â€)