A Brief History of Justin Timberlake’s Suit-and-Tie Sh*t - Slideshow - Vulture

January 15, 2013 1:30 pm

A Brief History of Justin Timberlake’s Suit-and-Tie Sh*t

By Amanda Dobbins

Late Sunday night, Justin Timberlake’s very confusing countdown clock expired, and a new song — his first single in six excruciating years — was unleashed upon the world. “Suit and Tie” has a Jay-Z verse, some very festive marimba production, and the lyrics “I be on my suit-and-tie shit,” which, historically speaking, is a very accurate Justin Timberlake statement. Dude has worn some spectacular suit-and-tie ensembles in his day. So in honor of JT’s new song (and because the title more or less taunted us into doing so), here is a look back at JT’s suit-and-tie shit.

Suit Power: 3 (Though all points come from the ribbed-sweater overcoat, which we are counting as a suit for the purposes of awesomeness.)
Tie Power: 3 Monochrome was excusable in the aughts, sort of.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Yes.

Suit Power: 3 (Though all points come from the ribbed-sweater overcoat, which we are counting as a suit for the purposes of awesomeness.)
Tie Power: 3 Monochrome was excusable in the aughts, sort of.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Yes.

Suit Power: 5 Respect the risk. And the sparkles!
Tie Power: 0 Is he even wearing one? Does it matter?
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay does know a thing or two about looking iffy while standing next to a bonkers-attractive woman.

Suit Power: 5 Respect the risk. And the sparkles!
Tie Power: 0 Is he even wearing one? Does it matter?
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay does know a thing or two about looking iffy while standing next to a bonkers-attractive woman.

Suit Power: 8 Come on.
Tie Power: 1 We demand actual gold lamé.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? That question is missing the point. (Yes.)

Suit Power: 8 Come on.
Tie Power: 1 We demand actual gold lamé.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? That question is missing the point. (Yes.)

Suit Power: 2 That is a very high score for something that is definitely not a suit.
Tie Power: 0 Leather-flame-embroidery power: 18!
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Clearly.

Suit Power: 2 That is a very high score for something that is definitely not a suit.
Tie Power: 0 Leather-flame-embroidery power: 18!
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Clearly.

Suit Power: 4 For the leather cuffs.
Tie Power: 1 You can hire someone to tie those for you, JT.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? God, we hope so.

Suit Power: 4 For the leather cuffs.
Tie Power: 1 You can hire someone to tie those for you, JT.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? God, we hope so.

Suit Power: 1 Unless this is his David Byrne in Stop Making Sense Halloween costume, in which case, 20.
Tie Power: 0 Shiny and wide and gross.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Would Jay-Z even talk to you in this ensemble?

Suit Power: 1 Unless this is his David Byrne in Stop Making Sense Halloween costume, in which case, 20.
Tie Power: 0 Shiny and wide and gross.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Would Jay-Z even talk to you in this ensemble?

Suit Power: 2 Oh no, the shiny infected the suit.
Tie Power: 2 See, you actually can recycle your wedding-party attire.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay-Z has a new baby and an NBA team and really doesn't have time to make fun of everything, you know?

Suit Power: 2 Oh no, the shiny infected the suit.
Tie Power: 2 See, you actually can recycle your wedding-party attire.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay-Z has a new baby and an NBA team and really doesn't have time to make fun of everything, you know?

Suit Power: 5 Okay, this is an improvement.
Tie Power: 3 Matchy-matchy.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Not the statues, anyway.

Suit Power: 5 Okay, this is an improvement.
Tie Power: 3 Matchy-matchy.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Not the statues, anyway.

Suit Power: 4 But double that if you are on the set of Downton Abbey.
Tie Power: 6 Good color, not too flashy.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Nah.

Suit Power: 4 But double that if you are on the set of Downton Abbey.
Tie Power: 6 Good color, not too flashy.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Nah.

Suit Power: 3 No to that sweater vest; no to that color.
Tie Power: 2 Who knows? We can't even see it.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? He's not thrilled about it.

Suit Power: 3 No to that sweater vest; no to that color.
Tie Power: 2 Who knows? We can't even see it.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? He's not thrilled about it.

Suit Power: 4 But if we had a Neck Beard category, that would get a 10.
Tie Power: 2 Did matte skinny ties just not exist before 2008?
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Too boring to mock.

Suit Power: 4 But if we had a Neck Beard category, that would get a 10.
Tie Power: 2 Did matte skinny ties just not exist before 2008?
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Too boring to mock.

Suit Power: 7 There we go.
Tie Power: 8 Orange is very hip right now.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? We're good.

Suit Power: 7 There we go.
Tie Power: 8 Orange is very hip right now.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? We're good.

Suit Power: 5 This is fine.
Tie Power: 4 Not mad at the stripes.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay shrug.

Suit Power: 5 This is fine.
Tie Power: 4 Not mad at the stripes.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay shrug.

Suit Power: 4 At least the fit's okay.
Tie Power: 7 Simple = good.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? There is probably a discussion to be had about that wallet chain.

Suit Power: 4 At least the fit's okay.
Tie Power: 7 Simple = good.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? There is probably a discussion to be had about that wallet chain.

Suit Power: 10 Damn.
Tie Power: 10 See above.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Nope!

Suit Power: 10 Damn.
Tie Power: 10 See above.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Nope!

Suit Power: 8 Serious Actor Justin is also "I Found a Tailor" Justin.
Tie Power: 7 And "I Finally Found a Skinny Tie" Justin.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? No, but he might make fun of someone's height.

Suit Power: 8 Serious Actor Justin is also "I Found a Tailor" Justin.
Tie Power: 7 And "I Finally Found a Skinny Tie" Justin.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? No, but he might make fun of someone's height.

Suit Power: 7 Let's reward experimentation .
Tie Power: 4 Let's not reward marbling.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? He likes the Serious Actor glasses.

Suit Power: 7 Let's reward experimentation .
Tie Power: 4 Let's not reward marbling.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? He likes the Serious Actor glasses.

Suit Power: 5 Yikes to the three-piece.
Tie Power: 3 Yikes to the shiny monochrome.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Yikes.

Suit Power: 5 Yikes to the three-piece.
Tie Power: 3 Yikes to the shiny monochrome.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Yikes.

Suit Power: 7 Still friends with that tailor, we see.
Tie Power: 7 Obligatory "it brings out his eyes." (It does!)
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay is off on a boat somewhere; we couldn't get in touch to ask.

Suit Power: 7 Still friends with that tailor, we see.
Tie Power: 7 Obligatory "it brings out his eyes." (It does!)
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? Jay is off on a boat somewhere; we couldn't get in touch to ask.

Suit Power: 7 It just looks like leather.
Tie Power: 8 Long live the skinny tie.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? This is like the definition of "truffle season." Jay approves.

Suit Power: 7 It just looks like leather.
Tie Power: 8 Long live the skinny tie.
Would Jay-Z Make Fun of This Ensemble? This is like the definition of "truffle season." Jay approves.

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