The Twenty Grisliest TV Death Scenes of the 2012-13 Season

Impelled by a text-message order, a female groupie of a hunky serial-killer cult leader removes a knife from her purse, then removes her dress, and then delivers her own death blow by stabbing herself in the eye. Girl, you so crazy in love.

Nobody pushes Rick Grimes into a walker, especially not some little-seen human character in a wife-beater (the new redshirt?).

Bobby Cannavale's mob goon Gyp Rosetti takes the classic summertime prank of burying a schlub up to his neck in sand too far when he plays Whac-a-Mole with an associate's head using a shovel. Gyp's dread pirate license is hereby revoked.

Sookie's been through a lot, but nothing a little Chinese food and bad TV can't fix. So, why'd you have to go and ruin her night, coroner-turned-vampire guy? Here's hoping she washes those chopsticks before returning to her moo shu pork.

A fellow police officer is found dead and throatless, his throat having been removed by a gigantic dog. The C.S.I. team initially looks to collar the mutt for the murder but ultimately decides that the beast is guilty only of being a terrible dog.

A married couple gets their car stuck in a muddy ditch but their attempts to extract the vehicle are thwarted when the husband is splattered with a shirtload of mud. Only, that's not mud! It's a dead-person's face! And now it's on his shirt! Gah!

Just because some maniac has slit this poor doctor's throat, drained his blood into an ice chest, sliced off his tongue and fashioned it into a makeshift necktie doesn't mean he's a total monster. A note attached to the ice chest reads: “Please deliver to Red Cross.” See, he cares.

If Talisa Stark had thought to read the George R.R. Martin books in advance of the Red Wedding, she would have known that 1) her name is actually Jeyne, 2) she isn't actually pregnant with the unborn heir to Winterfell, and 3) she had legitimate reasons to decline the invitation. Why can't Talisa read?

If you'd just killed the evil Bloody Face (and really, is there any other kind of Bloody Face?) by stabbing him multiple times in the chest, and with one of those orbitoclast doohickeys used to perform lobotomies, at that, you'd probably be pretty psyched, too. Well, until another (also evil) Bloody Face appears.

This co-ed and eight of her Greek sisters flaunt their ignorance of early MTV hits when they talk to a murderous stranger masquerading as a campus security guard and die ugly as a result. His name is Rick Springfield. Check into it.

How can a show about marauding Norsemen in the Middle Ages have so little gore? I mean, only one human-sacrifice scene where those crazy Scandanavians hang a few folks upside down, slit their throats, and let them bleed out to appease the Norse gods? For shame!

An accountant for a shady mulching company inadvertently wanders into a no-accountant zone and pays the iron(ic) price: Death by mulcher. Those funeral bills have to be deductible, right?

Double-barreled Grimm action! After examining two dead cows in a field, a farmer is surprised to find a fencepole protruding from his abdomen and a glowing-blue bad guy cackling at his misfortune. Don't rub it in, dude!

Look, kids! It's a massive totem pole constructed entirely out of dead bodies! Ooh, and notice that the base seems to be made up of older kills and the top seems decidedly more recent! Did the killer have his latest victim watch while this masterpiece was constructed? Maybe! But at least that last guy died happy. I mean, who doesn’t appreciate public art? Am I right, kids?

Two homeless men are excited to smell something delicious cooking on an open fire nearby. Is it chicken? Is it pork? Nope, just flambéed human. Those guys never catch a break.

We think that's detective Angel "Mr. Hat" Batista examining the charred remains of some dead, burned guy. But it might also be a shot-for-shot remake of the "Thriller" video.

Daryl crushes the head of a walker by slamming closed the trunk door of a hatchback at the precise moment. What, is your seemingly unlimited crossbow quiver finally empty?

After Eric and Nora drink the blood of the all-powerful vampire diety Lilith (long story), they see their vampire "father" Godric materialize and then Lilith herself. She proceeds to make god fodder out of Godric by ripping his throat open and tearing off his head. Oh, that zany Lilith!

A trombone player in the Baltimore orchestra is found on stage with his neck sliced open and wedged apart using the neck of a cello. It appears that his vocal cords have been played like strings. And we're guessing it was probably the key of C, because C stands for cray cray.