Fug Girls: The Best, Worst, and Most Diva-ish Looks From the Oscars
The rain politely RSVP’d “no” to Hollywood’s parade this year, keeping the Academy Awards from being the H2Oscars, against the wishes of our snarky little souls. But the upside to a lack of weather drama is that we can focus on the clothes and not the umbrellas (or the pour souls hired to wrangle them). The red carpet brought some surprisingly tame outfits on celebs we can usually count on to be adventurous, but it also gave us moments of quiet glamour. They’re all in our traditional list of superlatives — alongside one pair of shorts. Join us as we highlight the standout moments or, in Liza Minnelli’s case, the moment of standout highlights.
Most Improvisational Looking: Kerry Washington Of course a very pregnant Kerry Washington would want to opt for something comfortable, but we'd h...
Most Improvisational Looking: Kerry Washington Of course a very pregnant Kerry Washington would want to opt for something comfortable, but we'd hoped for something a bit more exciting than a Jason Wu bedsheet with a bejeweled bobby pin.
Photo: Jeff Vespa/2014 Jeff Vespa
Most Surprisingly Frumpy: Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie's Elie Saab has a loveliness to parts of it, but this whole silhouette seems like it'd wo...
Most Surprisingly Frumpy: Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie's Elie Saab has a loveliness to parts of it, but this whole silhouette seems like it'd work just as well on her ten years from now, which is when we wish she'd have tried it. Something this wannabe-naked at the top shouldn't feel so stuffy. Indeed, nor should Angelina Jolie.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2014 Getty Images
Most Blue Ribbon: Sandra Bullock Sandra's Oscar chances dimmed quicker than expected this season, but she didn't let that didn't lull her into ph...
Most Blue Ribbon: Sandra Bullock Sandra's Oscar chances dimmed quicker than expected this season, but she didn't let that didn't lull her into phoning in the biggest red carpet of the year. This blue Alexander McQueen is hardly a mere consolation prize — more like a dreamy rosette, it's an award to herself even without another gold man to go with it.
Photo: FREDERIC J. BROWN/2014 AFP
Most Human: Lady Gaga We didn't actually think Lady Gaga would show up to the Oscars sporting a test tube, or the intestines of a giant plastic a...
Most Human: Lady Gaga We didn't actually think Lady Gaga would show up to the Oscars sporting a test tube, or the intestines of a giant plastic amoeba, but there is always that nagging fear. She rose (or sank, perhaps, in her view) to the dress code and wore an enviably flattering pink and silver Versace, with a diaphanous scarf, which added an appropriate layer of Gaga-approved kook. Maybe she really is over the whole shock-value thing ... or maybe she's lulling us into submission for a time when she'll wear a dress made of, say, several angry, live lemurs. We should probably enjoy this while we can.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2014 Getty Images
Most Shriekworthy: Anna Kendrick The red panel of Anna Kendrick's J.Mendel makes us wonder what might have been; as it is, there is so much happe...
Most Shriekworthy: Anna Kendrick The red panel of Anna Kendrick's J.Mendel makes us wonder what might have been; as it is, there is so much happening here that her dress is at odds with itself. Especially the skirt, which looks like it just got dumped and gave itself breakup bangs while standing drunk and weepy in front of its poorly lit closet mirror.
Photo: Kevin Mazur/2014 Kevin Mazur
Best Diva Moment: Bette Midler We would make a crack about Bette's clingy, stunning Reem Acra being the wind beneath her wings, but frankly, we'r...
Best Diva Moment: Bette Midler We would make a crack about Bette's clingy, stunning Reem Acra being the wind beneath her wings, but frankly, we're better than that ... Wait, no we're not, at all. It totally is the wind beneath her wings.
Photo: Steve Granitz/2014 Steve Granitz
Most Deliciously Crazy Diva Moment: Liza Minnelli It felt so zanily, amazingly right when Liza Minnelli swanned onto the carpet wearing...
Most Deliciously Crazy Diva Moment: Liza Minnelli It felt so zanily, amazingly right when Liza Minnelli swanned onto the carpet wearing electric blue cocktail pajamas, with what look like shoes by Sports Authority and a blue streak in her hair that matches the one we swore in delighted glee. Whatever mystical forces caused the kitschy drama of a Katy Perry to possess the kitschy diva that is Liza Minnelli, we applaud them. Let's start a petition to invite Liza to everything.
Photo: Kevin Mazur/2014 Kevin Mazur
Most Divisive: Lupita Nyong'o There's no doubt that Lupita Nyong'o is beloved by every human being to walk this earth and to speak against her is...
Most Divisive: Lupita Nyong'o There's no doubt that Lupita Nyong'o is beloved by every human being to walk this earth and to speak against her is to invite rage. That being said, this custom Prada look got mixed reviews from Twitter, and, indeed, at our HQ. The color is lovely, the volume is a delight, but the deep V-neck is reminiscent of silhouettes Lupita has already worn, and it would have benefited from a necklace. Points deducted for the headband, which is unnecessarily twee.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2014 Getty Images
Most Unexpected Shout-Out to Britney: Cate Blanchett All we know is, we wish we'd been at the Armani Privé offices when Cate Blanchett swa...
Most Unexpected Shout-Out to Britney: Cate Blanchett All we know is, we wish we'd been at the Armani Privé offices when Cate Blanchett swanned in and noted, "Do you have anything that will remind everyone of that time Britney writhed around in that bedazzled jumpsuit in the 'Toxic' video? Except classier. Thanks." Photo: Jason Merritt/2014 Getty Images
Best Maternitywear: Olivia Wilde Olivia Wilde's Valentino is simple from the front, but has a surprising white mini-train in the back, providing ...
Best Maternitywear: Olivia Wilde Olivia Wilde's Valentino is simple from the front, but has a surprising white mini-train in the back, providing vague vintage-tinged echoes of Julia Roberts's iconic vintage Valentino from 2001. If Cate Blanchett can look like a Classy Britney, we guess it's fair for Olivia to aim for Old-School Julia.
Photo: Jason Merritt/2014 Getty Images
Most Shocking Lack of a Man Bun: Jared Leto We were promised that Jared Leto was going to be sporting a bun on the Oscars red carpet. How could s...
Most Shocking Lack of a Man Bun: Jared Leto We were promised that Jared Leto was going to be sporting a bun on the Oscars red carpet. How could social media lie to us? Apparently, Jared decided his ombre locks could not be contained. And neither could — nor should — his red bow tie, a jaunty choice that is also the only thing that prevented him and Ryan Seacrest being twins, which we just realized is a movie we might pay to see.
Photo: Steve Granitz/2014 Steve Granitz
Best Use of Her Face: Charlize Theron Every time Charlize Theron shows up at an awards show, everyone gets excited about how amazing she looks. B...
Best Use of Her Face: Charlize Theron Every time Charlize Theron shows up at an awards show, everyone gets excited about how amazing she looks. But half the time, it's not because of her dress, it's because of her face. That face can carry off almost anything — even this honestly otherwise kind of mediocre Dior.
Photo: ROBYN BECK/2014 AFP
Most Derivative: Jennifer Lawrence Speaking of Dior, Jennifer Lawrence's partnership with them has been an unrelenting parade of underwhelming an...
Most Derivative: Jennifer Lawrence Speaking of Dior, Jennifer Lawrence's partnership with them has been an unrelenting parade of underwhelming and occasionally horrifying gowns that do her youthful sass no favors. This red number was also extremely similar to Michelle Williams's 2012 Louis Vuitton Oscars dress, which was better, and the color strongly echoed Lawrence's own red Calvin Klein from her first Oscars outing, which was also better. Why can't they do right by her?
Photo: Jason Merritt/2014 Getty Images
Best Effort From a Non-Nominee: Naomi Watts Naomi Watts hit the Oscars fashion jackpot two years in a row. Last year, her gunmetal Armani Prive s...
Best Effort From a Non-Nominee: Naomi Watts Naomi Watts hit the Oscars fashion jackpot two years in a row. Last year, her gunmetal Armani Prive stunned; this year, her white Calvin Klein drew focus from some of the women who were in the running for an actual award. Which is award-worthy in and of itself.
Photo: Steve Granitz/2014 Steve Granitz
The You Could Do Better Award: Ireland Baldwin Ireland Baldwin's presence on the red carpet is one of those things that you can attribute almost ...
The You Could Do Better Award: Ireland Baldwin Ireland Baldwin's presence on the red carpet is one of those things that you can attribute almost solely to nepotism; her extremely early arrival, to hoping that nepotism might lead to something (she's trying to become a model). So why couldn't Alec and Kim pool some cash and get their baby a dress that doesn't look like it fell off the sale rack at Charlotte Russe?
Photo: Steve Granitz/2014 Steve Granitz
Best Talking Point: Pharrell Williams At the Grammys, he sported The Hat of the Year. That's hard to top, but Pharrell tried his best, sporting w...
Best Talking Point: Pharrell Williams At the Grammys, he sported The Hat of the Year. That's hard to top, but Pharrell tried his best, sporting what is perhaps the first pair of shorts on the Oscars red carpet, or at least, by anyone who wasn't lugging a camera pack. Good try, but how many fashionistas are going to whip out their shorts in homage next week? It's cold out there.
Photo: Ethan Miller/2014 WireImage
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