13 Utterly Absurd Panels From the 1940s Captain Marvel Comics
It’s official: DC and Warner Bros. are developing a Shazam movie, and given that it’s DC, it could very well end up being full of explosions, collateral damage, and costumes that look like somebody turned the brightness way down in Photoshop. But nobody wants that. Instead, DC should look for inspiration in Shazam’s early adventures in the 1940s (the so-called Golden Age of Comics), when he dressed in bright red and yellow, his comics outsold Superman’s, and he fought giant yeast monsters, a super-intelligent worm who kept trying to take over the world, and troubling lengths of string.
Wait, what?
This is the strange joy of Golden Age comics, and Shazam — or Captain Marvel, as he was known until 2012 — is the best of the early superheroes. He is the alter-ego of a 10-year-old orphan newscaster called Billy Batson, who shouts the word “SHAZAM” whenever he wants to transform. His best friend is a neurotic tiger. Here are some of the weirdest, greatest, most ridiculous moments from Captain Marvel Adventures.
In the panel after this one, the fumes from the cheese knock all of these people out, and Billy has to transform into Captain Marvel to save the day (...
In the panel after this one, the fumes from the cheese knock all of these people out, and Billy has to transform into Captain Marvel to save the day (he’s apparently immune to cheese). This may sound over the top, but I’ve been to a cheese factory. This is the most realistic thing that’s happened in comics.
Well, this has put me off food for life. And best not to think of the (ahem) personal-hygiene metaphors.
This is Captain Marvel’s origin story. I feel like this is one element of the Golden Age of comics that shouldn’t make it into the movie, but it’s the...
This is Captain Marvel’s origin story. I feel like this is one element of the Golden Age of comics that shouldn’t make it into the movie, but it’s the one that probably will. Did they have Amber Alerts in the 1940s?
Everyone is very troubled by the string. I’m not sure my first question would be what’s at the other end of it, since I would probably be more concern...
Everyone is very troubled by the string. I’m not sure my first question would be what’s at the other end of it, since I would probably be more concerned about the appearance of a portal to another dimension, but I guess that’s mostly semantics.
Golden Age Captain Marvel comics have taught us all some very important lessons, such as: Don’t pull on string when you can’t see where it’s coming fr...
Golden Age Captain Marvel comics have taught us all some very important lessons, such as: Don’t pull on string when you can’t see where it’s coming from. It doesn’t like it.
Mr. Mind is one of Captain Marvel’s most prolific Golden Age adversaries. You might not be able to see under that fetching diving helmet, but he is a ...
Mr. Mind is one of Captain Marvel’s most prolific Golden Age adversaries. You might not be able to see under that fetching diving helmet, but he is a worm. I have no idea why he’s a worm, but I guess there’s no reason why worms shouldn’t dream of riding armored seahorses and controlling the world through giant squids.
REALITY IS BORING! LONG LIVE ART! LONG LIVE SURREALISM!
Yes, that sentient river did murder that man as an act of revenge. I don’t know why it’s being so coy about it.
This is one of Mr. Mind’s henchmen. Yes, they have a school. Yes, the henchman is a cap-and-gown-wearing lizard. No, Captain Marvel has apparently not...
This is one of Mr. Mind’s henchmen. Yes, they have a school. Yes, the henchman is a cap-and-gown-wearing lizard. No, Captain Marvel has apparently not noticed that he’s undermined his own philosophical point.
Captain Marvel is DISGUSTED with poor writing in the comics industry. He seems to be ignoring the fact that none of the writers he’s confronting seem ...
Captain Marvel is DISGUSTED with poor writing in the comics industry. He seems to be ignoring the fact that none of the writers he’s confronting seem to be able to talk coherently. Maybe this was their best work.
This is Captain Marvel’s best friend, Tawky Tawny. He’s a tiger. Captain Marvel has no idea how to deal with his complex range of emotions, as Captain...
This is Captain Marvel’s best friend, Tawky Tawny. He’s a tiger. Captain Marvel has no idea how to deal with his complex range of emotions, as Captain Marvel is only ever happy or outraged, but he’s trying.
What a terrifying moment of existential crisis. What a way to reveal the essential shared mortality of every man. Or maybe it’s just that the cave is ...
What a terrifying moment of existential crisis. What a way to reveal the essential shared mortality of every man. Or maybe it’s just that the cave is so radioactive that everybody becomes a walking X-ray, whatever.
Seriously, what’s up with the string.