A week ago, Leslie Jones was just a Ghostbusting Saturday Night Live all-star the world had no idea was Team USA’s biggest Olympics fan. But Jones is used to being underestimated, and she came ready to play, with 48 years of being funny under her belt, and a head-to-toe stars-and-stripes outfit to deploy. The Olympics only come around once every four years, after all, and Jones was not going to blow her shot … at dominating Twitter couch commentary. Girl even set up a makeshift control room with three events playing at once in her living room. So undeniable are her talents, she’s now going to Rio at the invitation of Jim Bell, executive producer of the NBC Olympics coverage — a particularly sweet vindication given that a month ago, Jones nearly quit Twitter after being subjected to a torrent of racial abuse. In a Games that’s already been plagued with a host country in crisis, terror plots, toxic water, unsafe lodging, the Zika virus, doping, Michael Phelps’s stank face, back-breaking crashes, terrible ratings, and even worse coverage and commentary, Jones’s may just be the fairy-tale ending we need. Plus, who doesn’t want to watch her help Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush pour some more coconut oil on Tonga’s flag-bearer? Here’s what else to expect when our heroine touches down in Brazil on Friday and starts making the NBC censors work overtime.
Bomb-ass costumes
I mean she already wrapped herself in an American flag while wearing an all-flag-all-day outfit. What’s she going to do with a budget?
Plus, now she’s got this sweet swimming cap.
Legit questions
Like, what’s up with those weird water-polo bonnets?
Are they peeing on each other?
How come men’s beach volleyball players don’t wear those itty-bitty panties? “This is some bullshit.â€
Pep talks
“Pedal, girl, like you’re delivering weed!â€
Pure joy
“They’re fish! They’re freaking fish!â€
A one-woman spirit coach for beach volleyball’s Kerri Walsh Jennings
Jennings told Yahoo! Sports that she was having trouble sleeping and someone recommended she read Jones’s Twitter. Now she’s reaching out to the comedian directly for boosts of enthusiasm before matches. “I love her. She’s perfect to me,†said Walsh. “I can’t wait to see what she came up with today.â€
Celebration of bad-ass bitches
“Ain’t no Victoria’s Secret football in this motherfucker.â€
Discovering sports for the first time
“What the fuck am I watching right now?â€
TruthÂ
Men gymnasts are shaped like what toast looks like when it’s cut into triangles.
“Bob [Costas], I love you but you gotta put some spark in your shit! This is the OLYMPICS.â€
Women’s rubgy is awesome.
“Those refs smoke weed.â€
Pro insults
“A lucky towel? What are you, Linus?â€
ThirstÂ
For water-polo players, even with their weird hats.
Great ideas
Speedos for everyone!