Who cares if Elton John, Céline Dion, Kiss, Garth Brooks, and so many more turned down a chance to perform at Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration? The president-elect can’t have those celebrities interfering with how hard he’ll be vibing with America. “We’re fortunate in that we have the greatest celebrity in the world, which is the president-elect,†Tom Barrack, chair of the inauguration committee told reporters. “So what we’ve done instead of trying to surround him with what people consider A-listers is we are going to surround him with the soft sensuality of the place.â€
Before you start imagining Trump gently caressing the National Mall, the White House, and various memorials, Barrack further clarified, “It’s a much more poetic cadence than having a circus-like celebration that’s a coronation.†A poetic cadence that screams romance? Not quite. Barrack explained, “The cadence of it is going to be, ‘let me get back to work.’†It’s probably a good thing Moby won’t be DJing at one of the night’s three inaugural balls — it’s hard to do paperwork and schedule cabinet appointment hearings while rocking out to a Public Enemy–heavy playlist. Hopefully the Rockettes remember to pack their business leotards.