Who cares if Elton John, Céline Dion, Kiss, Garth Brooks, and so many more turned down a chance to perform at Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration? The president-elect can’t have those celebrities interfering with how hard he’ll be vibing with America. “We’re fortunate in that we have the greatest celebrity in the world, which is the president-elect,” Tom Barrack, chair of the inauguration committee told reporters. “So what we’ve done instead of trying to surround him with what people consider A-listers is we are going to surround him with the soft sensuality of the place.”
Before you start imagining Trump gently caressing the National Mall, the White House, and various memorials, Barrack further clarified, “It’s a much more poetic cadence than having a circus-like celebration that’s a coronation.” A poetic cadence that screams romance? Not quite. Barrack explained, “The cadence of it is going to be, ‘let me get back to work.’” It’s probably a good thing Moby won’t be DJing at one of the night’s three inaugural balls — it’s hard to do paperwork and schedule cabinet appointment hearings while rocking out to a Public Enemy–heavy playlist. Hopefully the Rockettes remember to pack their business leotards.